Silent Sorrow
by smartkid37
Summary: When the mask slips and the pain becomes too much to hide, who is there to pick up the pieces and help put them back together?  Written for the "I'll Be There For You" and "Family" Challenges on NFA. Aleady complete. Will post a chapter a day.
1. Chapter 1

"_Look into my eyes and hear what I'm not saying for my  
>eyes speak louder than my voice ever will..." <em>Unknown

For the MCRT of NCIS, the week had been unusually boring and quiet to the point that even Team Leader Leroy Jethro Gibbs was antsy and sick of prowling through cold cases. There had been no live cases and no unusual happenstance reported amongst any of them, even in their private lives. It had become a serious situation.

Serious was anytime Anthony DiNozzo, Jr. was bored to the point of madness, with the gears in his head almost audibly shifting while he thought of pranks to pull on his teammates. Tony had been sporting this look about him since he'd arrived on this Thursday morning that warned of impending pranks and practical joke mayhem. It hadn't taken long for Gibbs to notice this and return the gleeful anticipation look with a glaring warning of his own. Tony had immediately settled down and gotten to work, unwilling to push his luck with the boss. Crisis averted, the team went about their drudgery, combing through cold cases for missed clues and fresh leads.

The Team Leader hadn't missed the way Ziva and Tim were beginning to show signs of restlessness as well. Come to think of it, Tim had been acting edgy for the past three weeks, his conversations brief, his eyes seldom meeting any of theirs, his usual times of joining the team for a drink after work, suddenly politely refused every day and his nearly late arrival every morning along with his lickety- split departure when the word was handed out to go home for the night.

Looking over his team now from the sanctuary of his desk, the team leader noted that it seriously was looking like it was time to sic Ducky on his youngest agent, at least to make sure the young man was alright. Tim was looking seriously exhausted and decidedly thinner_. Had the kid even eaten at all this week? _Thinking back, Gibbs was startled to realize he hadn't seen their resident Geek eat anything all week. Now that he thought about it, he did remember Tony razzing Tim about dieting and Ziva expressing concern that the youngest of the group wasn't eating. Several times this week, as a matter of fact, the subject had come up between them, with Tim blowing them off as politely as he usually did, each time. Yeah, it was definitely time for the M.E. to weigh in on this, in the event that something medically inhibiting was going on with his agent. As he rose from his chair, intent on escorting Tim down to Autopsy himself, the young man's phone rang.

Reacting as though he'd been expecting the call, Tim casually picked the phone up off its cradle and answered it, his tone quiet, serious and tired.

"Agent McGee….okay…good….No, that's fine…thank you... yes, you can send him up please…thank you" Tim put the phone down and stood up. As he came around his desk, pen in hand, he walked over to Gibbs' desk and quietly spoke to the boss, obviously trying to keep his words just between the two of them.

"Boss, I promise, this will only take a minute, two tops."

Turning to leave, Tim didn't even wait for a response from Gibbs as he steadily walked to the elevator as it reached their floor and opened up. The rest of the team unabashedly stood up to witness whatever was going on with their teammate and was surprised to see two men step off the elevator, one new person and one Security Guard from downstairs. Their surprise deepened when they noticed the guest sporting a soft leather laptop sized briefcase with a large manila envelope held in place on top of it by the man's his left hand.

Reaching out to shake the man's right hand, Tim spoke briefly to the security guard before drawing his guest off to the side. The two talked for just a minute before the man handed Tim the envelope and the agent's head dropped and his shoulders slouched. The man grasped Tim's upper arm and squeezed in what could only be interpreted for compassion and spoke to him yet again. The agent raised his head. nodded, pointed to the sheet of paper his guest was now holding out and signed it as it was handed to him. Then he shook the man's hand, handed him back the piece of paper and walked him back to the Security Guard, standing in place as his guest was escorted back down to the front sign out.

"Back to work." Gibbs ordered quietly while not looking away from his seemingly troubled agent. It was rather unsettling to see him apparently frozen in place as if he were in shock.

"Good morning, Jethro." Ducky said from where he came to stand at his side.

"Hey, Duck. What brings you up here?" Gibbs spared his long-time friend a glance before sending his eyes back to his youngest agent who still hadn't moved. This shift in Gibbs' attention garnered Ducky's attention on the young man as well.

"Ah, yes, therein lies the answer to your question, Jethro. I have come to check on young Timothy. I have it on good authority that the poor boy has not been himself for some time and is continuing to look rather unwell. I also heard that he has not been eating; at least, not while he's been here at work"

"Yeah. Was just getting ready to bring him to ya myself, Duck."

"Oh? Something stop you?" the M.E. questioned in surprise.

Gibbs silently nodded his head in the direction of the young man in question who had yet to move.

"Ah, and judging from the young man's posture, whatever this is about is not pleasant."

"Doesn't look like it."

"Well, no worry, Jethro. I shall simply take him down to Autopsy with me now and we'll be able to check into things." Ducky supplied as he stepped away from Gibbs' desk.

"Duck." Gibbs quietly called him back.

The M.E. turned to look at Gibbs. The younger man walked over to him. "I'll send him down in a minute."

"Ah. Alright. There's no need to further embarrass the young man, after all, is there?" The M.E. retreated, going back the way he'd come in, silently and steadily.

Tony and Ziva hadn't been able to return their attention to their work, both still mesmerized by the sight of Tim acting so out of character. They found themselves startled when Tim suddenly moved again as he turned around, picked his head up and angrily walked back to his desk without so much as a glance in any of their directions. His anger became more apparent as he, shoved the envelope into one of the drawers to keep it safe, and slammed it shut and locked it, depositing the key back in his middle desk drawer. Looking over at his boss, he spoke to him once more as he picked up his coffee cup, all signs of anger now stowed away. "I just need more coffee, Boss. I'll be right back." He told him and then disappeared from the squad room.

Getting up from his desk, Gibbs looked at his other two agents. "Keep working."

He walked out of the squad room and waited for Tim to come out of the break room, snagging his attention when he did. "Hey. With me."

Tim turned and followed the boss silently, with his already crushed and broken heart in his throat. Stepping into the elevator as it arrived and opened up, the two men remained peacefully silent, both taking the minute to enjoy that tranquility even if it was just on the outside. When the elevator started moving, the boss reached over and pushed the stop button down and turned to his agent.

"Anything you wanna tell me?" Gibbs asked quietly as he realized what he was seeing in the young man's eyes was a mixture of pain and sorrow with a generous splash of anger.

Tim looked at Gibbs for a minute. Then he blinked to put away whatever might be showing in his eyes and shook his head as he opened his eyes once more, focusing them now on the wall beyond Gibbs' shoulder. "No, I'm fine."

"Never have been a very good liar, McGee." Gibbs quipped. "Pretty obvious you're pissed about something."

Tim remained silent, his eyes firmly fastened to the elevator buttons off to the side.

Gibbs breathed out a frustrated sigh. "I'm here if you change your mind, but for now, Ducky wants to see you."

"Ducky? Why? Boss, I'm…." Tim flustered with embarrassment.

"Not eating, not acting like yourself and obviously trying to keep it all locked up tight. That's your prerogative, McGee. But, I don't want it affecting your job and even more importantly, your health any worse than it already is. As of right now, I'm placing you on desk duty until Ducky says otherwise. In fact, I don't even wanna see you back up here until he gives the okay. Any argument from you about it and I'll send you home instead." Gibbs ordered.

Tim looked at his boss, unable to stop himself from doing so, almost as if he was willing to accept whatever punishment he found there. Surprisingly enough, the look in Gibbs' eyes didn't come anywhere near censure, but more worried and parental.

The younger man felt a weight lifted off of his shoulders even though he still couldn't bring himself to unload his burden on to the man's shoulders. "No argument, Boss." He offered quietly with a small smile that spoke of apology and gratitude all in the same gesture.

*****NCIS***  
><strong>

After managing the rest of the journey to Autopsy in relatively easy silence, Gibbs shared a knowing glance with the M.E. and cast one more appraising look at his agent before he silently turned toward the door. Leaving Tim in Ducky's capable hands, the team leader headed back to this desk. Suddenly, it occurred to him that his Senior Field Agent's penchant for snooping would probably have kicked in to overdrive by now and if Tony had snooped into what Tim had just been handed, Gibbs was gonna serve him notice faster than he could breathe his next breath. Digging out his phone, he called his Senior Field Agent.

"_ DiNozzo."_

"Get out of McGee's Desk, DiNozzo!"

"_Boss! What? I'm no…."_

"If you even think about it, you'll be written up so fast your head will spin."

"_Wouldn't dream of going through his desk, Boss."_

"Mmm." Gibbs snapped his phone shut and breathed out a sigh of relief. _One major battle avoided._

Reaching his desk, a few minutes later, he was surprised to find Tony typing away at his computer. With a momentary smile of glee, his Senior Field Agent clicked his computer mouse one more time, only to have that look change to one of worry. Another click of the mouse and the printer was noisily at work even as Tony stared at the moniter as if trying to believe what he was seeing.

Knowing in his gut that Tony was underhandedly snooping through Tim's business despite the boss' order not to do so, Gibbs launched himself up out of his chair and snatched the printed paper off the machine and headed himself toward the elevator without so much as a glance at what he held in his hand. "With me, DiNozzo. Close out your work station."

Tony struggled to be quick about closing what he'd been doing and locking his work station and still try to catch up to the now obviously pissed off boss. Oddly enough, Gibbs turned his directional heading away from the elevator.

With a pang of disbelief, Tony realized the boss was headed to the nearest shredding bin. Sure enough, the paper from the printer went in the bin before Gibbs turned back toward the elevator without pausing in his stride. Tony glanced at Ziva to share in the feeling of surpise, only to find his teammate smirking presumable because he'd gotten caught at snooping.

*****NCIS*****

"Alright, Timothy, your blood pressure looks just a bit low but otherwise you are in fine health. As for your appetite, I think it would help if you could tell me when this trouble eating started, dear boy." The M.E. coaxed.

In the five minutes or so he'd been down here, Tim had been extremely quiet, almost silent and showing obvious signs of being angry about something. The M.E. had done all the talking, prattle mostly, just to ease the awkwardness of the situation. By asking him questions now, Ducky hoped he could get Tim to open up to him.

Tim swallowed hard. He needed to talk to someone. But, he didn't feel comfortable doing it here where anyone could walk in during the conversation, or worse, tune in on that video link between Abby's lab and Autopsy. He'd already let the mask of normal slip too far back up in the squad room just now and somehow he couldn't stop being angry at himself for that. Almost as angry as he was at his ….no, he couldn't think about it now. That was how the mask had slipped in the first place. Here, he'd worn it so well for the past month and now it had slipped far enough that Gibbs had honed in on the resulting show of something being wrong. It couldn't happen again. It just couldn't. He had to put the mask back on, just as tight as it had been before his lawyer's visit.

Besides, he didn't want to burden anyone with his troubles. He'd made his decisions and had to stick to them, no matter how painful they were. It wasn't an excuse to drop this in anyone else's lap. It wasn't that Tim didn't want to confide in Ducky. The M.E. had already gone through his own private tragedy with the passing of his mother, choosing to handle it without a word to anyone of them who worked with him daily and treasured him, even his close friend Gibbs.

Only Abby's snooping had gotten to the bottom of that situation. Tim didn't want things to get to that point where everyone started snooping to satisfy their curiosity about what was going on with him. He needed to pull it together and fast. If Ducky could go it alone, so could he.

"I can't force myself to eat, Ducky." Was the only thing Tim could come up with as an explanation that might pacify the caring M.E..

"All right, young man, but don't think for a moment that this is the end of this. I shall be keeping a sharp eye on you. It will not bode well for us to lose you to something going on right under our very noses." Ducky admonished.

"Ducky, I promise, it's not that serious of a problem. I'm not sick or dy…. or anything. I just….I've been too stressed and…" Tim struggled now, having stumbled much too closely to the truth for his own comforts

"And obviously going through something extremely troubling. Enough so that you've not been eating or sleeping within normal perameters."

"That's about the size of it." Tim admitted quietly as he closed his eyes for a minute.

"All right. I can see you've made up your mind about this. So, let's just endeavor to see what we can do to improve the appetite, shall we? For starters try some of those protein shakes available in cans to supplement your dietary lacking right now. I want you to also start taking a daily multi-vitamin. Have you been maintaining normal exercise regiments?"

"Now that you mention it, no." Tim admitted.

"Timothy. It is not like you to allow yourself to lose such focus."

Tim nodded, his eyes clouding over. A second look revealed a glistening of those eyes and Ducky was quick to offer his sympathies. "Now, now, Timothy. You do not need to carry whatever this is, alone."

"Yeah, I do. At least for now." Tim murmured. Blinking several times, Tim wiped his hand across his face and got down off the table. "Thanks, Ducky, but I really need to get back to work now. Oh, right, Gibbs said you had to clear me first."

"Yes, well I can see it will do me no good to confine you to getting some rest on my couch, so I will allow you to return to desk duty, but do not forget to find your way back down here if you continue to have trouble eating young man. I expect to see you back here before you go home this evening. Regardless.. And any further problems and I will not hesitate to remove you from work, young man."

"Thanks, Ducky.I promise. I'll be here." Tim vowed before he headed out, slowly making his way to the elevator.

_*****NCIS*****_

As the elevator settled into its' stop position, Gibbs glared at his Senior Field Agent. "Thought I made myself clear, DiNozzo."

"You did, Boss, but…"

"You'd rather be written up because your curiosity has gotten the best of you again." The boss offered dryly.

"No. C'mon, Gibbs! I'm worried, alright? I know you are too, except you don't do worried, but…"

_**Smack**_

"Leave this alone, Tony. Erase all record of this search and leave it alone! If and when McGee wants to tell you, he will! Don't make me repeat myself!"

"Yes, Boss." Tony replied dejectedly. "How the hell am I supposed to find out what's going on with him now?"

"Ever try just asking him?"

"Well, yeah, Boss. You know what he'll say. It's what he always says when I ask him. "None of your business."

"Well, then it's none of your business. Maybe if you didn't invade his privacy and make fun of him so much, he'd be more willing to let you in, DiNozzo." Gibbs suggested as he turned the elevator back on and returned to his desk when it opened back up at the squad room level.

"Hmmph!" Tony grunted as he returned to his own desk, angry at having been forbidden to find out what was going on with his teammate.

"Thirty seconds, DiNozzo." Gibbs warned from across the room, his eyes fixed on his own work even as he spoke.

"On it, Boss." Tony groused as he set about typing faster than what they normally heard from him, obviously trying to get something done rather quickly.

Ziva watched with silent fascination as she tried to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Before anything else could be said, Tim returned to his desk, stopping off at the boss' desk to report. "Ducky said it's okay for me to be on desk duty, Boss."

"I know." Gibbs replied as he looked up at his agent and scrutinized him carefully. For a long silent, uncomfortable minute, the boss looked at him with an unreadable expression in his eyes. Finally, he broke the silence. "Alright, McGee, back to work. Don't even think of not eating lunch today. You and Ziva make the run for it."

"Yes, Boss." Tim answered quietly as he turned and walked to his desk and sat down, getting back to work without another word.

*****NCIS***  
><strong>

Lunchtime rolled around and Ziva got up to head out for the lunch orders but noticed Tim was still hard at work, not even attempting to slow down. "McGee, it is lunchtime. I need your help, remember?"

Tim shook his head slightly and stopped working enough to look over at her. "Oh, right. Sorry." Locking his computer, he snatched up his wallet and badge, and headed out on her heels, still carrying the look of someone desperate for someone to talk to.

Tony blew out a sigh of frustration as his two teammates left the squad room. _How was he supposed to find out what was going on with McGee now? Oh, wait! Abby would know! _"Boss, I'm gonna go see if Abby needs anything for lunch."

Gibbs glared at his Senior Field Agent "She's not here, DiNozzo. Can't use her as your snitch, anyway. I'd shoot you first."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: VERY IMPORTANT WORD OF WARNING**

**This chapter begins the discussion of the subject of Life Support and the argument of whether or not to keep someone alive indefinately on the artificial means. The story continues on with that theme from here.**

**I mean no disrespect towards anyone who has ever had to suffer through something like that with a loved one.  
>My sympathies for your heartache.<strong>

**I apologise for not including this warning from the begininning - I did not want to take away from the story itself.**

**This is just a fictional story - that happens to revolve around that - no offense is meant.  
>I'm seriously hoping no offense is taken.<strong>

**Having said that - hopefully - you'll still want to continue reading .**

* * *

><p>The afternoon passed with monotony that nearly drove them all crazy; all but Tim, that is. He alone, seemed focused in his world of cyber searches as was typical for him. It was clear that he was entrenched in that world for now, so for once Tony left him alone. Normally, he would have been obviously content in what he was doing, but it had been a long time since the young man had looked happy doing his job. If anyone looked closely at him now, the expression they would see was that of distant bordom even if he did remain completely focused. And while Tim remained undeterred by the commotion around him, the rest of the team were restless and obviously itching for something to do that took physical activity beyond the desk.<p>

Looking around the room at his team, Gibbs took stock in what he'd picked up on when they'd come back from lunch with Ziva looking troubled and Tim wearing the look of someone trying to shelve freshly inflicted pain and sorrow. Even Tony had come back rather quiet. And now with one burying himself in work and the other two more restless than he liked, Gibbs finally took pity on them all; Looking over at the antsy ones. "Go spar it out in the gym. You've got an hour."

Tony and Ziva were gone almost before the words had finished coming from the boss' mouth. As expected, almost immediately, peace returned to the squad room. Tim remained lost in his own little cyber world, not even realizing he was under scrutiny from across the room. Gibbs seldom spoke, but he rarely missed what was going on right in front of him.

He'd been noticing Tim's withdrawn and almost sad demeanor lately but, true to form, never commented on it because the young man never seemed to lose focus on the job. Sure, there were bountiful times when he'd lose focus while at his desk; but he always got the work done and no case work ever suffered for his moments of private contemplation. The fact that there hadn't been any active cases in a while certainly helped keep things under control with all of them. His short yet insightful conversation with Tim earlier in the morning still niggled on the boss' mind, but as for right now, the peace and quiet was a rare treat that both Gibbs and his youngest agent relished.

***NCIS***

When Tony and Ziva returned to the squad room at the allotted time an hour later, Tony was quick to put an end to the treasured peace and quiet that did seem oddly out of place with the whole team present. "What did somebody die or something?" he quipped with a smart-alec grin strewn across his face.

Tim's eyes snapped up, all pretense of hiding anything instantly gone, as red-hot anger radiated off him. Practically jumping up from his chair as if he'd just been branded with a hot-iron, eyes nearly snapping with fury unleashed, Tim reacted.

"Only YOU would even joke about something like that, DiNozzo!" Pushing his chair angrily out of his own way, Tim stormed from the squad room without even looking back.

"Tony! Why must you always act so uncaring about the people around you?" Ziva asked with rising anger of her own

She alone knew what Tim had been dealing with for the past three weeks and she alone knew how angry, grieviously sorrowful and helpless he was feeling about the entire situation. But, Tim had sworn her to secrecy since it had nothing to do with their jobs. He'd promised her that he would talk to Gibbs about it if and when it became too much to carry alone and she was trusting him to keep his word just as much as he was trusting her to keep hers.

Ziva had been surprised when he'd confessed to her that he'd already tried to talk to Gibbs but hadn't managed to force himself to get out of the car once he'd gotten to the man's house; not once, but four times! From what Ziva could tell, it wouldn't be long now before that conversation finally took place. She hoped it happened sooner than later.

Gibbs glared at his Senior Field Agent, his own rising temper barely leashed as his mind replayed what he'd seen take place for the last four nights, at his home, late at night.

_**Flashback**_

_Sanding the planks repeatedly, he found the steady repetitive motion as calming as he'd always found it to be. It had been a rough month and there were things going on beneath the surface with his team members that he wished he knew the stories behind and hoped they were as okay as they were leading him to believe. Before he could think on that further, his phone rang._

_"Yeah, Gibbs."_

_"Leroy."_

_"Mrs. Jones. It's late, Are you alright?" he asked his elderly neighbor whom he'd known since Shannon and Kelly had been the lights of his life._

_" I'm just fine, Leory,. But, I wanted to let you know that there's a strange looking car in front of your house. It's been there for going on thirty minutes now. I know you live in your basement, dear one, and don't always realize when you're about to have company. But this young man has yet to get out of his car. Should we call in the police, Leroy?"_

_"No. Mrs. Jones." Gibbs chuckled softly. "Can you describe the car?"_

_"It's a rolling bag of money, I tell you! Why these youngsters think they have to buy such fancy cars at their age, I'll never…"_

_"Relax, Mrs. Jones. That's just one of my team members."_

_"Well, for heaven's sakes, why doesn't he get out of the car and go in then?" she demanded in frustration. "I can't tell you how it's made my heart thump with worry to see him sitting there for so long like he's planning something horrid."_

_"Mrs. Jones. I promise you, he wouldn't hurt anyone."_

_"Is that right? Well, does he have a name?" she asked dryly._

_Gibbs chuckled outright. "Yes, Ma'am. His name is Tim McGee."_

_"I see. Well, in that case, I'll go back to reading my book. But, you mark my words, young man, anyone sitting in front of your house in their car for more than 10 minutes like this is more than just unsure; they're downright in need of getting something off their chest. Why don't you talk to him, Leroy?"_

_"I'll do that, Mrs. Jones. Thank you." Gibbs hung up the phone and called Tim's phone._

_"Boss?" Tim's worry and uncertainty came through the line as plain as day, as did something that immediately had Gibbs thinking something was wrong with the young man; despair._

_"McGee. You're scaring my neighbors. Get in here." Gibbs told him gruffly, unable to think of a better way to get through to the oftentimes stubborn young man. Truth be told he was a little unsettled at Tim's arrival at his house. He remembered that Tim had never been here except for the time they fought to clear Jenny's name when Vance was on that fishing expedition some years back. The fact that the young man was here now, brought very few possibilities to mind and none of them good._

_The start of Tim's car engine had been hard to miss and the attempts to all him going straight to voicemail for the next thirty minutes also clued Gibbs in as to how things had just taken a turn for the worse leaving the Team Leader angry and very frustrated but he'd understood it. Tim had never come to him before about anything that wasn't about a case before. This had to be a huge step for him; one, he apparently wasn't ready to take completely, even if he needed to. Mentally head slapping himself for spooking the young man when that hadn't been his intention in the least, Gibbs swore he'd handle it differently if it ever happened again. Maybe he could get Tim to talk to him tomorrow._

_Gibbs left that situation at home when he went to work the next day, not saying or doing anything different, but looking for signs that Tim wanted to talk. It was as if it had never happened for the both of them. Through out the day, things seemed to be on normal track between Tim and Gibbs and neither, it seemed were willing to mess with that. At the end of the day, the silence that normally sat between them, remained in place._

_Strangely enough, that night Gibbs got yet another phone call this time, heralding a scolding from the elderly woman who'd called him the night before. "Leroy Jethro Gibbs! I thought you promised me you were going to talk to that young man! You must not have if he's sitting outside your house once more!"_

_"Mrs. Jones, "He'll come in when he's ready." Gibbs had told her. _

_By the fourth night of this; last night, Gibbs was practically itching to go out to Tim's car and yank him out of it and into the house just to get him to see that he was welcome there and since he obviously needed to talk, the boss was ready to listen. Patience had never been the Team Leader's strong suit, but having noticed that each night that Tim sat in front of his house, it had been for a good 15 minutes longer than the night before, struck him as progress and so he decided to leave things alone and let them sort themselves out._

_***End Flashback***_

******NCIS****  
><strong>

Sitting in the break room after storming out of the squad room, Tim worked to chomp down on everything that had risen to the surface and driven his emotions over the top. It was times like these, when faced with careless remarks or jibes that unintentionally cut too close to the truth, that were the hardest to get through. His mask slipping for the second time in one day wasn't helping either.

It had been a horrendous month and every day had been a new stringent assignment in wearing the mask of normal so tightly, no one could even glimpse the pain and sorrow underneath. Somewhere underneath all that was the anger, burning so hot and thick it threatened to choke him if it ever saw the light of day; which was why Tim called up every ounce of self control he had to hold it all in so no one saw, _almost no one_.

With a wry smile, he remembered the moment, just a little bit ago over lunch, that someone saw underneath and dared to stand their ground and insist he let them be the friend that he needed.

_***Flashback**_

_The tears were so close to the surface, it was all he could do to turn his head before he was found out. It would be the end of any sense of peace on the team if they saw him reduced to tears, no matter what the reason was and that was something he couldn't live with. Live with; oh, God. Mom! I'm so sorry, I failed you! _

_Breathing out a shaky sigh of so many bottled up emotions he felt like he was choking, Tim rose to his feet and silently took himself out of the diner while Ziva was in the restroom, without waiting until she got back_

_When Ziva found him a mere few minutes later, she quietly told him what she needed him to know. _

_"I watched you leave the diner just now, just as I've watched you continue to carry this burden that seems to weigh you down more and more every day. Not a day had gone by in the last three weeks, that you have not, at least at some point in the day, looked, even if just for a moment, as though someone had just killed your best friend."_

_Tim's eyes filled with tears as he turned his head away from her intense boring gaze that could read him as well as Gibbs did. The fact that she had just hit the proverbial and literal nail on the head, blew away all locks on the doors holding his pain and sorrow inside._

_"McGee, what is it? Please, let me help you." Ziva urged gently. "Do not continue to carry this alone. Has something happened to someone close to you? Is that why you remain so heavily burdened?"_

_Tim nodded through the tears that were trying to escape, as he dug into his shirt pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper that he'd gotten from the lawyer just that morning and unfolded it before handing it to her so she could read it since it summed it all up in a nutshell, rather than him having to talk about it._

_Ziva took the paper from him and looked down at it, perusing it quickly to gain at least the main crux of the problem. Gasping, she looked up at Tim in shock. "This is what you have been carrying alone?" she asked sadly._

_"Not exactly something I can just bring up in a casual conversation, Ziva." Tim murmured as he got up from the bench, wiped at his eyes and went to stand by the tree nearby that overlooked the harbor , looking out at the world as it passed him by._

_She looked down at the paper again, this time, taking the time to read it more carefully._

_**Court Dockett Summary:**_

Mr. Scott McGee has asked the court to grant him the order to turn off the life-support system currently keeping his wife, Mrs. Megan McGee alive.

Mrs. Megan McGee, a passenger in a car that was struck Dec. 28 by a car that ran a red light, is in critical condition at a local hospital.

Mrs. McGee slipped into a coma after suffering brain and spinal injuries and remains on life support. She subsequently developed a brain hemorrhage and has no expected hope of recovery.

Mr. McGee wishes to turn off his wife's life support in support of Mrs. McGee's Living Will which stipulates that she not be kept alive under such measures if her life is deemed vegetative or non-recoverable.

Timothy McGee, her grown son, an NCIS Special Agent, has made his wishes known that his mother be allowed to continue to fight for her life,citing the possibility of his mother's recovery, slim as it may be.

Timothy McGee has stated that he will not pursue legal action to argue the court's decision beyond that of his legal counsel's representation, as he does not wish for this to become any sort of publicity circus.

Sarah McGee, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. McGee, has declared that she strongly supports whatever decision her father makes regarding her mother.

Final Court Decision: To be determined within seven days.

_Ziva set the paper down and looked over at Tim as he stared out across the empty space before him.. "McG….Tim." she called to him softly._

_Turning to look at her, the pain in his eyes tore at her heart. "What can I do to help?"_

_Tim shook his head. "Nothing, Ziva." He replied quietly. "There's nothing anyone can do. I won't let this become public. It's not fair to the agency."_

_"Nor would it be fair to you." She reminded him._

_"Seven days." He muttered angrily._

_"What is seven days?" she asked him_

_"He's killing her seven days from the day the court hands down its' decision; within the next seven days." Tim whispered as he plopped down on the bench that overlooked the bay, arms resting on his knees as his head dropped down into his open palms, his shoulders shaking with unshed grief, anger and helplessness._

_She turned and pulled him back up by his shoulders and wrapped him up in her arms, silently giving him permission to let it out. After what seemed like forever, Tim's emotional storm passed, or at least waned enough that he began working to regain his control and put it back under his mask. He gently pulled himself back away from her and looked back out over the water after whispering a heartfelt 'thank you' to her._

_"Tell me about it." She urged him gently as he wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat._

_"It's his idea of a compromise. He says if he the court rules in his favor and if she doesn't wake up in the next seven days, he's going forward with turning off her machines." Tim said bitterly, his anger finally surfacing now that his other emotions had been given their outlet._

_"Are you positive you do not wish to fight this?" Ziva asked him gently. "It is obvious that your heart is fighting it terribly. Why would you not follow your heart and fight to keep your mother alive?"_

_"I can't do that." Tim admitted. "Too much publicity, too many people affected and what if they're right after all?"_

_"So then you are not completely convinced she will wake up? You are hurting and feeling like your family has turned their backs on your mother and yourself because you cannot bring yourself to let go of the hope that she will wake up, yes?"_

_After a moment of silence, Tim finally found the voice to answer the question. "Yeah. Don't get me wrong, Zee, I have a lawyer to fight for Mom's right to live and I've never been so angry before in my life, but I can't fight the doctors, my father and my sister alone. The spouse has the final say, regardless. Not to mention, my mother's Living Will is even against her staying on the machines. I just…"_

"_You just cannot bear to let her go in this way. That is understandable." Ziva expressed with compassion. "McGee. You cannot keep this locked away. Let yourself lean on your friends. "_

_"Only you." He allowed quietly. "I couldn't take it if this found its way into Tony's box of jokes or pranks or God forbid, Abby's version of spreading the news but calling it concern."_

_"I understand why you would worry about that. However, you and I both know that neither Tony nor Abby would ever use this inappropriately against you. I know you are feeling a lot of different feelings right now, but it is unfair of you to think otherwise of them, yes?" She prodded gently._

"_Yeah, I know." Tim huffed out with resignation."I know it's not fair to think the worst of them, especially about something like this. I just…I don't know…it's not something I can really talk about with either of them, you know?"_

"_You could inform them the same way you just informed me, McGee. That way you would not have to say anything. And Gibbs needs to know that you need some time to be able to cope with this. He can at least listen and offer to help you. And what about Ducky? Is he not usually very helpful in such things?"_

_"Ducky just lost his mother and look at how private he kept that. He didn't even tell any of us and we all met her and cared about her. We all care about him a great deal and yet he didn't tell us. That's why I don't want to burden him with this." Tim explained with compassion for the M.E.'s painful loss. "Look how close he and Gibbs are and he didn't even tell Gibbs!"_

_"I suppose you are right about that. However, that does not excuse you from talking to Gibbs about this. And I am concerned that Abby and Tony will most likely be angry that you are denying them this chance to be there for you when you need them. After all, they consider themselves to be your friends and that is what friends do for each other, yes?"_

_"I'll think about what you said about Tony and Abby. But, why would you suggest Gibbs, Ziva?" Tim replied, not quite able to hide his surprise at her suggestion regarding the boss._

_"Because I have seen the man when he is allowed to be there for us when we need him." She admitted quietly. "Letting him in makes a difference, believe me."_

_"You, sure. Abby, definitely, Tony, without a doubt. Me? Not likely." Tim answered in a matter-of-fact tone._

_"I want you to promise me, McGee. Promise me that if this becomes too much to bear, you will do that. You will talk to Gibbs before it affects your job or your health or worse, your mind. Give him the chance to prove to you that he can be there for you when you need him to be"_

"_The funny thing is, Ziva? I've tried to talk to Gibbs already."_

"_You have? When?"_

"_For the past four nights."_

"_Well, what did he say?"_

"_Nothing." Tim told her sadly._

"_Nothing? The man said absolutely nothing when you informed him of this situation?" Ziva asked with pure disbelief._

"_Not exactly." Tim hedged._

"_McGee! Explain!" she demanded impatiently._

"_I drove to his house, but I couldn't even force myself to get out of the car."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I kept trying to find the nerve; trying to find the words to say, but they wouldn't come. I just couldn't find them."_

"_You must try again, McGee. The fact that you took yourself to his house and more than once in an effort to bring yourself to talk to him must prove to you that you do need to do so. I know that you have never before taken that step with anything else happening in your life because you do not believe he will want to be there for you. But I promise you that he will."_

_"Okay. "Tim gave in. "I'm pretty sure you're wrong, but I'll at least make the attempt one more time."_

_"Good. Now, do not forget, that I am here for you as well. And I know that I can count on your promise me that you will try to see the wisdom of letting your other friends be there for you as well." She instructed as she stood up, kissed his cheek and left him to think things over as she went back inside to retrieve the food orders for the team._

_**End Flashback**  
><em>

Blinking repeatedly to clear the memory, Tim came back to the here and now, wryly replaying over in his mind, the events of the last four nights, when he'd tried talking to Gibbs. At least, he'd tried so far as to drive out to the man's house, just like he'd explained to Ziva. Every night for the past four nights, he'd driven to the man's house and parked out front, waiting for the moment when he found the strength to get out of the car and go ask the man for help. He hadn't been able to do any more than park and sit there, thinking himself into a migraine every night and still not finding it within himself to actually get out of the car.

That first night, when Gibbs had called him as he sat out in his car had spooked him. He'd been so startled to hear the man's voice and mortified to hear that he'd scared Gibbs' neighbors enough that they must have called the man to complain. Nearly instantaneously, his mind slipped into 'fight or flight' mode and he found himself reflexively turning off his phone while still holding it and driving away from there as quickly as he could.

He couldn't explain what had driven him back to the boss' house the next night or the following two nights after that. It unnerved him to realize that he felt safer sitting there in front of the man's house than he felt in his own apartment. Not only did he feel safer, but he also felt much more at peace, even with the chaos, pain and sorrow going on behind the curtain of his own life. While he was sitting here, his mind found plenty of other things to focus on; like work and his teammates and why he and his boss couldn't talk like Gibbs and Tony obviously could and how much of a difference having Gibbs to talk to would be and why all of a sudden he understood what Ziva had meant when she told him after she returned from Somalia, that it had made the difference to her.

Shaking his head, Tim recalled his mind back to the here and now once more, focused on refreshing his coffee and heading back to the squad room. It was time for him to face the music regarding his blow-up at Tony. He knew he'd handled it badly and needed to make amends. Damn, he really needed to put this all away and get back to all things being normal around work. If only he could. Tim slipped the mask back on and had taken all of a  
>half –dozen steps when his phone rang.<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: A little artistic license taken in this chapter - since we really don't know how that 1st phone call between Tim and his Dad went down in "Penelope Papers"_

_I haven't seen any other episodes this season, so if anything else happened with that - I'm not aware of it and I beg your indulgence here._

_Enjoy!_

* * *

><p>Tony nearly wilted under the boss' angry glare. He knew he'd gone too far, even if he hadn't directed his jest at anyone in particular. In hindsight, he realized it had been callous and beyond disrespectful of those they'd lost in the line of duty over the years and personally as well. He shuffled his feet as he struggled to find somewhere to glue his eyeballs to while his brain worked to find the words to make this right. Tony knew he'd messed up royally with another shining example of him speaking before he'd given thought to his words.<p>

"Boss, I'm…I… you know I didn't…I never…Boss, I'm sorry." Tony offered in a rare public showing of his raw emotion under the gun.

"Work's not gonna get done by itself, DiNozzo." Gibbs told him gruffly in response. "Less talk, more investigating." Gibbs glanced at Ziva when he'd finished answering Tony, only to find her at least trying to work even if she was shooting Tony sharp daggers with her eyes. _She and McGee came back from that lunch run with something obviously wrong. Did he confide in her? Does she know what's going on with him?_

Silence returned to the squad room as the three remaining agents returned their attention to their work. Beyond the clacking of computer keys and the scratching of ink pens across paper, there wasn't a sound to disturb the peace and quiet. The silence lasted all of ten minutes when the painful shrill of the boss' cell phone shattered it.

"Yeah, Gibbs." The boss answered it as he got up from his desk, coffee cup in hand, and headed toward the back elevator.

"_Jethro, I think you should come down here right away."_ The M.E.'s voice came through the line sounding stressed and almost urgent.

"On my way." The boss replied without hesitation as he stepped onto the elevator and hit the button for the right floor, so caught up in his thoughts regarding his youngest agent that he failed to notice the phone or the mess on the floor of the elevator .

Stepping through the hissing Autopsy doors a few minutes later, Gibbs was brought up short by the sight of his missing agent sitting on one of the cold steel tables, looking like he'd spaced out. Hunched over almost in half and shirtless, the young man was being wrapped in a blanket by the M.E.'s assistant, standing at the young man's right shoulder, the discarded obviously wet shirt lying on the table beside them. Even with the attention he was already receiving, it was clear that Tim was trembling while his eyes remained glued to the floor. Jimmy Palmer was talking Tim quietly but it was clear he realized his audience wasn't really listening by the way he wasn't waiting for answers or stopping to listen.

Before Gibbs could even say anything, Ducky appeared in the doorway of his office and glanced over at the Team Leader. Not wanting to startle Tim any worse, the M.E. stepped over to his younger friend to read him in as to what was going on with the obviously stressed out agent.

"Jethro, Timothy seems to be in shock. Something has hit him hard enough that it has literally blindsided him with enough force that it made him literally sick to his stomach and left him sitting passed out which is how Mr. Palmer found him when he attempted to use the elevator. Since we brought him in here several minutes ago, the only thing we've been able to do is get him just barely aware enough that he attempted to sit up, which he needed help to do. He needs to be allowed to calm down. Then perhaps we will be able to find out what has sent him into this tailspin."

"You got a plan?"

"I would prefer that he was to settle down on the couch in my office where he can rest comfortably. However, it would be better for his body's recovery if he were to drink at least one cup of hot sweet tea."

"Lemme talk to him." Gibbs requested calmly.

"Jethro, surely you don't…" Ducky protested

"Duck! Give me some credit, will ya? I'm not expecting him to get back to work like this." The Team Leader objected with aggravation. "I'm not the bastard most people take me for."

"No, I should say not." Ducky admitted soothingly as he walked with the younger man back to the agent still sitting on the table.

Seeing Gibbs approach Tim's left side, Jimmy hurridly tucked the blanket more securely around Tim's shoulders and made to step away.

"Stay, Palmer." Gibbs told him quietly as he glanced at him briefly before sending his attention back to his agent.

The fact that the young man didn't even react to the sound of his boss' voice told the older man just how rattled by whatever had happened, Tim really was. Needing to bring him back from where ever he was trying to escape to, Gibbs attempted to reach out to him, keeping his voice calm as he spoke to him. "McGee."

Neither the unusually quiet tone nor the rare show of support in the form of the boss' hand on his shoulder made a dent in the cloud that seemed to be hovering over Tim at the moment. Gibbs had hoped to break through that fog, but wasn't having any success as of yet. Taking a deep breath and letting it back out slowly, Gibbs leaned in to his agent's ear and quietly spoke to him. "Talk to me, Tim."

Tim's eyes blinked and his head came up, although a shudder shook his frame, causing Jimmy to immediately wrap the blanket around Tim even tighter. Tim tried to reach down inside himself and find the words to explain what had happened in as few words as he could. The boss hated long drawn out answers and Tim couldn't bring himself to talk about this in front of Ducky anyway, even in his current state of recovering from shock.

His brain hit the replay button yet again, on the moment in the elevator not but a few minutes ago when he'd answered his ringing phone and was completely knocked off his feet, bringing out that intense reaction off from within his shattered soul and sick feeling stomach.1

**_15 Minutes earlier_**

"Tim McGee." He cautiously answered on the second ring.

"_Agent McGee. This is Nurse Johnson on your mother's wing at the hospital. I thought you should know that your father' just arrived with the court's final decision to allow your mother to be taken off life support. I'm sorry, but I couldn't stop him, he was too fast, even with your sister on his heels. He's already turned off your mother's machines. I'm so very sorry, but she's gone now."_

Tim was shocked, ill-prepared for this change of plans or this betrayal by his own father and little sister. He couldn't find the words to speak as the flood gates threatened to crash down on their own while his stomach revolted at the realization that he'd been powerless to stop his father from killing his mother. He'd failed her. _Oh, Mom! I am so, so sorry. Can you ever forgive me?_The phone slipped from his fingers as he felt himself go numb, his stomach revolt and his world go grey.

**_Present Time_**

"Just got some bad news, that's all." Tim offered finally with a voice that was raspy and unsteady as he glanced very briefly at Gibbs before he began squirming as if to get down off the table.

It was bad enough he couldn't remember how he'd gotten down here, didn't remember getting sick in the elevator or Jimmy finding him passed out and shaking so badly he'd hollored for Ducky and the two of them carrying Tim into Autopsy and laying him on the table. Tim could barely remember waking up on the table and being disorientated . He'd escaped behind the fog of numb disbelief that had rolled in over his mind as both Jimmy and Ducky had helped him sit up.

"Timothy, before you even think of moving from this table, you must drink this down in order to provide your body some much needed sugar to offset the shock." Ducky ordered as he handed him a cup of hot tea, bringing Tim's thoughts back to the here and now.

Tim nodded wordlessly and accepted the cup and trying to drink it down as quickly as he could without burning his throat or dragging it out, even as he grimaced at the extra sweetness. "Ugh" he muttered half under his breath as yet another shudder coursed through him.

"Drink it down, young man." The M.E. insisted, as he exchanged worried glances with Gibbs over the young man's passive cooperation.

With an aggrieved sigh, Tim did as Ducky instructed and finished the drink, handing Ducky the empty cup when he was done.

"That's a good patient. Now, I want you to go rest on my couch. So you need to allow Mr. Palmer and myself…"

"I got this, Duck." Gibbs interrupted. "Palmer, go up to the squad room and get me McGee's backpack from under his desk. Tell DiNozzo I said he and Da'vid had better have some work done by the time I get back."

"Yes, Agent Gibbs." Jimmy answered as he turned and nearly flew from Autopsy.

Once Jimmy had gone, Gibbs turned to Ducky. "I'm taking him home with me. He needs to be able to sleep this off without interruption."

"Actually, that's a marvelous idea, Jethro." Ducky offered his support.

"I'm okay now." Tim said quietly before any of them moved.

"McGee…" Gibbs started to stand his ground but found himself interrupted unexpectedly by the young man.

"Boss, I…" he stammered as he raised his head in part, to offer an apology for being MIA from his desk for so long.

"No need to apologise, McGee." The boss promised him.

"I wasn't…I mean, I do, but… that's not what I wanted to say." Tim managed to get out.

"Go on." Gibbs encouraged.

"Could… I need …Tony… wasn't his fault." Tim managed to voice even though his brain hadn't yet formulated the sentences completely. Suddenly, he shifted and stood , his knees nearly buckling with the unexpected weight.

"What wasn't his fault, McGee?" Gibbs asked him as he held onto him to keep him upright.

Tim quickly looked away and at first, it seemed like he wasn't going to give Gibbs an answer, but, then, he shook his head slightly as he answered. "Earlier." Tim replied as he gently extracted his arm from the boss' hold and walked toward the door and left autopsy without another word about any of it,

The boss exchanged glances with Ducky as together in silence, they waited for Jimmy to return with Tim's bag. Jimmy came back empty-handed and frazzled looking.

"Agent McGee says he doesn't need to go anywhere but back to work. He wouldn't let me bring you his bag. He was back working before I even got back to the elevator to come back down."

Gibbs sighed in frustration and headed to the door. _Figures McGee's stubborn nature would show up now_

"Jethro, do be sure and keep an eye on him, won't you?" Ducky requested firmly.

"Will do, Duck." Gibbs replied over his shoulder as he left the room and walked to the elevator.

*****NCIS*****

Once back up in the squad room the Team Leader immediately headed back to his desk, his eyes scrutinizing his youngest agent with every step. It was clear that Tim was trying his level best to get some work done. It was a big asset to the young man that the only case that was open to him right now happened to be the cold case in front of him because whatever had knocked him off balance earlier was still hanging on, in the shaking of his hands and the weighed down stoop of his shoulders. Tension and even sorrow fairly radiated from him, so tangible, the boss felt like he could reach out and touch it.

Tony felt horrible for the crack comment he'd made earlier especially since it had driven his probie from the squad room in a rare display of fury and now apparently, quiet with anger for the day. It had taken him a few minutes to call maintainence to clean up the evidence of someone getting sick in the elevator and hadn't been able to shake the feeling he'd royally screwed up even then. Then he'd spoted Tim's phone in the elevator and had let his curiousity get the better of him and checked Tim's call log.

Recalling the last number that called his teammate, Tony had gotten the surprise of his life when he heard the woman on the other end answer for Buffalo County New York Hospital's Critical Care Unit. Ending the call, Tony went back to the squad room and placed the phone on Tim's desk before he returned to his own. Now he felt like dirt. Something was really wrong and Tony had blindly misspoke into whatever it was his little brother was going through.

Tim's apology the moment he returned to the squad room a short couple of minutes ago, only made Tony feel worse. "Tony. I'm sorry. For what I said earlier."

Tony had looked up in surprise. "No, McGee. You were right. I was out of line and I'm sorry. I never meant it as a way of making light of anyone we've lost."

"Okay." Tim had allowed. "Thanks."

Tony had tried to let his probie know how he felt and hoped it came across as much, but was still left feeling like everything had slipped away from his control and was still in need of fixing. The boss' arrival back in the squad room now sent his mind back to work, but nothing could erase Tony's guilt. Still, he had to know. "You okay, Probie? You don't look so hot."

Tim winced at the mental picture of the mess he knew he must look like after that little trip through the worst reality hoax he'd ever dreamed of. Still, Tony was doing his best to show he was worried and Tim needed to ease the older man's concern. "Yeah, Tony. I'm fine. Thanks." Without anything further being said, both agents returned their attention to their work.

The afternoon returned to normal and the day moved forward. For the better part of the next two hours, all of them remained studiously working. Time crawled forward with only the pens scratching across paper and keyboards being used with both the speed of the experienced and the steadiness of the hunt and peck variety. The only break in the day came when Tim stopped suddenly and left the squad room, presumably to get a refill of his coffee, since he took his cup with him.

Though it was rare for the youngest agent to do so without asking permission to vacate the squad room first, he seemed still off kilter enough that he obviously hadn't thought of it. Gibbs watched him go, his mind wondering if the young man was okay after that ordeal earlier. Needing a refill himself, Gibbs stood and stretched

It seemed that no sooner had Tim left the room, than his desk phone rang. Gibbs, already on his way out for his own cup of coffee, snapped the phone receiver up and answered the call. "Agent McGee's desk."

"_Where's my son?"_

"Commander McGee, I presume?" Gibbs asked in return.

"_That's right. Where's Jr?" _The deep voice boomed impatiently_._

"He's stepped away from his desk, is there a message I …"

"_Just who is it I'm talkin' to?"_

"Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. Your son's immediate supervisor."

"_You mean his Team Leader."_

"Right."

"_You're the one who's been lettin' that Tony fella harass the hell outta my boy since he joined your team."_

"Commander, …"

" _Been wantin' to thank you for quite a while now, Agent Gibbs! Haveta admit,first coupla years my boy was on your team, I wanted to kick your tail for giving him a job he wasn't good enough for; handing him a weapon and a badge to hide behind while he continued to be a failure. But, every time I got wind of the crap you and your boy and even that girl of yours were puttin' my boy through, I felt you'd made a good choice after all. But, ya know, he'll never make the grade so maybe you'd better tell that boy of yours to keep sockin' it to my boy and maybe one day Jr. will accept the truth. Gotta give you kudos for stickin' with it though. I just hope he doesn't screw up again and get somebody else killed. I think three's plenty, don't you?"_

"Is there a message in there somewhere for my agent?" Gibbs asked with barely contained fury.

"_Oh, right. The reason I called the pipsquek._ _Just called to tell him that I know that nosy nurse called him the minute I showed up with the court order. Don't know what she thought he could do to stop me from doing what I felt was right. I called to tell him I did what I did for all of our sakes. It was for the best and it was past time to let her go. _

Finally, the man took a breath, but before Gibbs could speak, Tim's father got started once more.

_Tell him to call me when he gets over himself enough to realize we couldn't leave her hooked up to all those machines, no matter how pissed at me he is for it. I mean, what kind of person would I be letting her suffer like that indefinately? I couldn't keep letting them breathe for her forever because it just wasn't what she would have wanted."_

Again the man paused for a breath; just barely, before finishing his seemingly endless rant.

_"My boy's gotta know I was right to pull the plug. The Judge wouldn't have supported me if I wasn't. Oh, and do tell him I am sorry I had a change of heart about waiting the 7 days I promised him, will ya? I just couldn't drag this out for my baby girl any longer. We both need closure and he'll thank me for this one day. Oh, and tell him to check his emails from his sister if he wants to know when his mother's funeral is gonna be.I know he won't call. He never does. Hell, he doesn't even call his sister. Only reason I know anything about what goes on with him is when Sarah goes to check on him. Somehow he's never home but at least she's smart enough to pick the lock so she can check his computer logs and personal entries to his so called journal. Guess that's better than not knowing sure and tell him I called now, won't you? Been nice talkin' with ya, Agent Gibbs."_

The call was ended suddenly leaving Gibbs standing there reeling with shock and disbelief.


	4. Chapter 4

It was hard to say who was more surprised to find their Team Leader standing at Tim's desk frozen in shock; Tony and Ziva as they watched from their desks or Tim as he returned to the squad room and found his boss there, his hand still on the phone receiver from where he'd hung it up, seemingly on autopilot.

Gibbs closed his eyes knowing that no matter what else he thought, he knew he'd just been handed the probable reason for his agent's episode of extreme shock earlier. Obviously Tim had been notified of his father's actions and now Tim needed his team to help him now more than ever. Equally obvious, this situation needed careful handling and the boss realized that just didn't know how to help soothe his grieving agent. After all, the young man was so troubled, he'd fought with himself for four nights as to whether or not he should get out of his car and talk to Gibbs. Tim had learned so well to keep everything locked up tight, that it was going to be difficult to get inside to help him. The question was, once he got inside, could he even be of any help? _Was that why Tim hadn't managed to come to him; because he wasn't sure Gibbs could help?_

"Boss?" Tim asked quietly out of concern. "You alright?"

Dragged from the fog that had briefly settled over his mind, Gibbs blinked and looked at his agent._ Am I right? Ia this why Tim's tried to talk to me for the past four nights? Is this what that lawyer's visit this morning was about? Is this why he hasn't been eating and from the looks of it, hasn't been sleeping either? _They really did need to talk

"With me, McGee." The boss instructed quietly as he led the way out of the squad room, now desperate for a fresh cup of coffee and the need to talk to his agent about that phone call.

*****NCIS *****

Back in the squad room, Ziva couldn't get Tony to stop glancing at Tim's desk forlornly every few minutes. She attempted it several times, each time suggesting that Gibbs would want the work to get done. Finally, Tony couldn't stand it any longer, nearly jumping out of his seat and practically running to the stairs. "Coffee." Was all the explanation he offered over his shoulder before disappearing through the stairwell door.

*****NCIS*****

Gibbs frowned as he started up the car while his passenger buckled himself in and set his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. The Team Leader had forgotten just how stubborn Tim could be when he set his mind to something and now that Gibbs had asked Tim to let him in to what was going on, the young man had let that innate stubbornness take over, denying himself any sympathetic ears or compassionate shoulders. The guy had been completely silent ever since they'd left the squad room. It had taken very firm directive from Gibbs to get Tim to cooperate in leaving work with him. Gibbs breathed out a sigh of relief as he drove.

At least he'd gotten Tim removed from work where he'd been under the stress of having to remain hidden behind the mask he'd been wearing all this time. Maybe now, the young man would relax and allow himself to let go or at least let someone in.

The seemingly endless ride to Gibbs' house was painfully quiet. Without breaking the silence between them, the boss ushered Tim up to the master bedroom and pointed to the bed, leaving no doubt the man's seriousness in terms of Tim having the room to sleep comfortably. They'd talk later. Gibbs watched silently as his agent strove to put his inner strength back in place, taking the time to really look at Tim laying there trying to let sleep claim him, with careful scrutiny.

As he took in the deep shadows of lost sleep on Tim's face and the flickers of sorrow and grief that hadn't managed to disappear from the layers of exhaustion and wariness, the Team Leader also noticed the tears silently sliding down his agent's face, uninterrupted. Never one for great shows of emotional support or even words of comfort, Gibbs had to think on what to do for Tim. He didn't want to do what he usually did in times of personal pain or loss for his team; leave the youngster in peace to handle, in this case, the grief and loss, alone and in their own way. No, this time, Tim had already been through that and wasn't going to be left alone with this emotional overload any more; at least, not for very long.

It went without saying that he'd need some time alone to let it out. But, Gibbs wanted Tim to know without a doubt that he was not alone; that the boss was there for him. What he really wanted was for Tim to let his entire team be there for him through this, but it was something he couldn't force the young man to do. Hopefully, he'd see that before too much longer.

The last four nights spent watching this young man sit parked in front of his house, unable to bring himself to get out of his car and come talk to him, now screamed of Tim's need to talk about this personal family tragedy.

The fact that Tim hadn't let it affect his work at all, only raised the young agent up in the boss' eyes. Hearing Tim express concern for Tony, even in the midst of his own personal trauma, hadn't been a surprise either. Knowing the young man needed some privacy right now, Gibbs headed down to the kitchen for some fresh coffee. He'd check on him again in a little while.

****NCIS****

As Tim lay awake, battling the tears that wouldn't stop trying to escape, he was disturbed unexpectedly by the shrill tone of an incoming call on his phone. It was his sister's ringtone. He frowned as he quickly hit the button to ignore the call.

"Sorry, Sis. Can't talk to you right now. Not til I figure out how you could side with Dad; probably the one that pushed killin' Mom." He muttered as the lock on his tears slipped another inch out of its holding. Angrily, he wiped them away.

His phone rang again and this time, Tim gave up trying to ignore Sarah's call. She wouldn't leave him in peace until she'd had her say and he couldn't turn his phone off because of Gibbs' rule about never being unreachable, no matter what excuse Tony claimed to have for ignoring that rule. He was too distracted to realize that being in the boss' house with the boss actually home pretty much canceled that rule out, at least for the time being.

"What do you want, Sarah?" he asked angrily when he answered the call. He was in no mood for small talk or for beating around any bushes.

"_Wow, somebody's in a grumpy mood."_ Sarah griped.

"I'm hanging up now."

"_No! Tim, wait!"_

"What is it, Sarah?"

"_I wanna talk to you about why I supported Dad. Are you ready to listen to my side?"_

"Kinda late for that, don'tcha think?" Tim asked bitterly. "'I'm not discussing this, Sarah" He ended the call and tossed the phone across the bed as if it had burned him.

A quiet knock on the doorway of the open bedroom door had Tim hastily wiping his hand across his face before he stood to turn and look at who had come to talk to him. Seeing the boss there, automatically sent Tim's eyes to the floor, although he wasn't sure what emotion had sent them there.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Tim looked up at him for a half-second. "Yeah." He lied. "I need some air. I'm gonna go sit out back for a while if you don't mind."

"Go on. And Tim?"

"Boss?"

"You don't have to be tough here. "

Disbelief flared in Tim's eyes before he quickly stowed it away, replacing it with something unreadable as he slipped past the older man down toward the stairs

Gibbs stood still, watching Tim walk down the stairs, wondering just how he was gonna get the young man to let it out; to grieve, even if it meant getting angry first. Hell of a thing to have to go through at any age, having to let someone else make a life or death choice regarding your mother while you're forced to just sit back and handle the repercussions and heartbreak. Having been through the tragic loss of his own mother while still in high school, he felt a sort of kinship to what Tim was going through, even if their situations were miles apart in details.

****NCIS*****

"You know what's going on with McGee." Tony accused Ziva as he came back in with coffee for both of them, some thirty minutes later.

"Yes, Tony. I do. However, it is not my place to tell you. I have already asked him to consider letting you and Abby in so that you may both help him through this difficult time." Ziva admitted quietly.

"Help him through it. Meaning whatever it is; is really bad. You know I picked up his cell phone from where he dropped it in the elevator earlier? It's not like Probie do leave his phone when he drops it. Just like it's not like him not to mention it when it's mysteriously returned to his desk for him."

"I agree. McGee is not himself right now."

"It's worse than that, Zee, isn't it?" He asked her pointedly.

"Why would you ask me such a thing, Tony?"

Because I happen to know that Probie hurled in the elevator probably about the time he dropped his phone." Tony told her in an almost accusatory tone.

"Oh, No!" Abby's distressed voice reached them from the edge of the squad room where she'd come up to check on Tim. "What happened?"

Ziva breathed out a sigh in frustration;. "I do not know. I was unaware that McGee had become ill "

"But you already admitted you know what's going on with him." Tony reminded her sharply.

"And as I have already told you, Tony, it is not my story to tell. You will have to wait until McGee decides to let you in, although I have encouraged him to do so."

Abby looked crestfallen. "Why would he need to be talked into talking to me; or to Tony?"

"Perhaps, my dear, Timothy's mind tends to fall back to the memories of the unpleasant teasing and harassing he has encountered from the two of you over the years and simply cannot deal with any of that in the midst of whatever else has befallen him. Or perhaps he is concerned that what is obviously a private matter will be passed along under the guise of 'concern for him." Ducky's advice came from directly behind her as the M.E. came to a standstill next to her. "I can, however, tell you that Anthony is most correct. Timothy did become ill in the elevator . However, it as Ziva has told you; Timothy's story to tell and we must respect that. There is however, no harm in calling Jethro and checking on your teammate."

"Wait, Probie went with the boss? Where?" Tony asked in surprise. "I mean, I know they left the squad room together but…"

"I imagine Jethro drove Timothy home,. Your teammate, in case you have not noticed, is very much in need of a good night's sound sleep and a good hot meal. Jethro will no doubt, make certain that Timothy receives both within the next 24 hours." Ducky offered somewhat pointedly. They were, after all, a team and they should at least be able to see when one of them was in need of help such as this.

"Boss doesn't do coddling." Tony objected in disbelief.

"I'm afraid you misunderstood the nature of what Timothy is in need of at the moment, Anthony. As I am not at liberty to discuss the matter further, I strongly suggest you speak with Jethro on the matter before you make any further snap judgements such as that one." The M.E.'s tone was unmistakable in its' anger now. "When have you ever known Timothy to allow himself to be coddled by any one, most especially Jethro?"

"He lets Abby do it all the time." Tony defended his point sullenly.

"No, Tony. He lets me need it from him. And he lets me force a hug on him when I think he needs it. There's a big difference." Abby corrected quietly as she tried to take in everything that was being said about her best friend.

"Tony, was I wrong in asking McGee to think hard about letting you in on what he is going through so you can be there for him as his friend?" Ziva asked as she narrowed her eyes at him in rising disappointment.

"What? No! Of course I wanna be there for him!" Tony argued.

"That is not what it sounds like to me." She threw back at him.

"Children!" Ducky admonished. "I strongly doubt that either of them would appreciate being discussed in such manner. I seem to recall a time when Timothy, himself was most negatively treated when he voiced concern about the wellbeing of at least one of you to the others and while I am certain he would be much more understanding in this situation, I know he would not want to be the subject of such public discussion."

"Ducky is quite correct." Ziva offered as she sat down, intent on returning to her perusal of the cold case in front of her.

The ringing of her cell phone changed that plan. "Ziva Da'vid." She answered it in her normal way.

"_Hey."_

Hello, McGee. Are you alright? I heard you were ill earlier. Did something happen?" she asked quietly.

"_You could say that." _Tim choked out, his voice breaking.

"McGee?"

"_Can you come over to Gibbs'? Please? I really don't wanna talk about this over the phone."_

"Certainly. Do you wish for me to bring the others? It sounds as though you very much need your friends right now."

"_Yeah. Yeah, you're right."_

"Very well. We shall be over as soon as I can get us there."

_Tim softly chuckled. "Thanks, Ziva. Can you do something for me first?"_

"Anything, McGee."

"_In my middle desk drawer. That paper I showed you. Can you let them read it? Ducky, too? I'd rather not have to explain that much."_

"Absolutely. Have you spoken with Gibbs as I suggested?"

"_No. I think I'm ready to though."_

"Then we shall wait for your signal before we arrive." She announced.

_Again, Tim softly laughed. "Thanks, Ziva. For everything."_

"You are more than welcome, McGee. Let us know when you are ready for us, alright?"

"_I will. Thanks again. Oh, and can you tell Tony I said thanks for returning my phone to me earlier? I'm sorry I didn't tell him before I left."_

Ziva smiled. "I will. Go have that talk and call me when you are ready for us to come. We will bring dinner."

"_Thanks."_

Ziva snapped her phone shut and looked at Ducky. "We need to talk more privately." Was all she said before marching over to Tim's desk and opening his middle drawer to take out the paper he'd obviously left there and now wanted the others to see.

"Autopsy." Ducky announced before turning around and leading the way. He didn't have the pull to commandeer a conference room and didn't want to have to explain the need for one anyway. His own little corner of the building was secluded enough to serve their purpose.

"Actually, Ducky, I think Abby's lab would be better. She will need to put this up where all of you can see it." Ziva gently counter-suggested.

Ducky nodded, feeling no need to disagree with her reasoning. The end result would be the same, seclusion enough to discuss this further without it becoming agency gossip.

The ride down to Abby's domain was completed in expectant silence, all of them tensed with anticipation and worry mixed together. Thankfully, the ride was short and they poured into the lab and quickly settled around Abby's plazma computer screen as Abby silently scanned the document and put up there for them to see. It wasn't long before gasps of shock were heard resounding through the room and tears began to blur all of their vision.

*****NCIS*****

Tim stood and stowed his phone back into his pocket and then took a moment to stretch his back and arms before turning to go back inside. He'd meant what he'd told Ziva. He had come to agree with her. He needed his friends to get through this. He couldn't get through this alone. _Hell, he couldn't even tolerate the thought of his sister or his father right now, how was he supposed to find out what the arrangements for his mother's funeral were going to be? How the hell could he even go when he couldn't' even stomach what they'd done?_

Angrily, he wiped at the tears trying to come back as his thoughts continued to be painful. Breathing out a sigh of heartfelt pain, he forced himself to go back inside. He needed to talk to Gibbs. He couldn't hide behind doubt or being tongue tied anymore. Maybe that phone call that the boss had taken earlier had something to do with his mother. God knows, the boss sure looked upset enough for it to have been. But who would have imparted that kind of information to his boss, sight unseen and over the phone like that? It was time he found out what that call had been about.

The sound of sand paper being used on a solid surface reached his ears as he ventured into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. Looking around for a second mug, he soon found one and filled it for Gibbs while he was at it. Carefully, he headed down the basement stairs, coming to stop on the third one from the bottom. "Coffee?" he quietly asked as he held out the cup he'd poured for the boss.

Gibbs put the sandpaper down and turned to look at the young man in surprise before walking over and accepting the mug from him. "Thanks."

Tim nodded as he sat down on the step and drank from his cup, keeping his eyes locked on the work table ahead of him.

"That why your lawyer came to see you this morning?" Gibbs asked to get the ball rolling and to get an idea of the background for where this conversation would be ending up. He knew his agent enough to realize that Tim was down here, seeking him out because he was finally ready to open up to him and let him in.

"Yeah. Brought me the court's papers"

Gibbs nodded in silent comprehension as he leaned back on the sawhorse behind him so he could remain standing close to Tim while they talked.

"Who was it on the phone earlier?" Tim asked without raising his voice or taking his eyes off the work table. Deep down, he knew who the call had been from. He'd seen the look on Gibbs' face and the boss acted like he already knew what Tim was talking about. Still, Tim held out for that useless ray of hope that he was wrong.

Gibbs took a minute to school his thoughts. He'd felt such rage at Tim's father and the callousness in which he'd put his son down and cast off the situation with Tim's mother as if the young man had no right to feel however he did about his mother's dying at someone else decision, that he didn't know if he could even tell Tim about it without losing his temper.

"Judging by the look on your face, it had to be my father." Tim surmised as he watched his boss struggle to school his emotions from his eyes and remained silent. Realizing that last shard of hope had just been ripped away from his grasp, Tim steeled himself for whatever his father's call had been about, besides gloating, that is.

"It was." Gibbs' tone was solomn, yet compassionate.

"I take it he had plenty to say and none of it good." Tim muttered.

"That's about the size of it."

"Lemme guess. I'm supposed to just get over what he's done and move on with my life because that's the reason he broke his promise to wait seven days; so he and Sarah could just move on with theirs?" Tim said with rising anger he couldn't seem to stop.

"Sounds like you know him pretty well." Gibbs tried to steer the conversation away from the emotional pit he could see looming on the horizon for the young man in front of him. The Team Leader had been though this kind of loss; alone. He wasn't about to let Tim go though the hell that he'd suffered through.

"Not well enough, apparently. I thought I could trust him to keep his word." Tim muttered angrily. "What else did he say?"

"Sure you wanna hear this?"

"Yes."

"He said he did what was best for all of you, including your mother. Said she wouldn't have wanted to live on the machine that way." Gibbs' tone was carefully suggestive of what he was saying actually being the truth that Tim needed to hear.

"She wouldn't have." Tim agreed softly, his eyes now glued to the step below his feet.

"That why you're so angry?" Gibbs asked calmly.

"No. I'm angry because he lied to me! He betrayed my trust and about my mother's life at that!" Tim raged, standing up and lurching down the remaining steps to the basement floor, suddenly needing to pace as the words poured out. "He said he'd wait seven days after the court rules. Seven lousy days! "

"That the bad news that had you getting sick in the elevator and almost passing out earlier? The nurse on your mother's floor called you; told you he'd wasted no time in turning her machines off?"

Finally, Tim looked Gibbs straight on, tears gathering in his eyes as he dug deep and admitted what hurt the most; the words coming out in anagonized whisper.

"He didn't even let me say goodbye."


	5. Chapter 5

"You sure he's ready to see us?" Tony asked with unusual uncertainty as they unloaded from the Agency sedan like flopping fish from the ocean.

"Tony, for the tenth time already, Gibbs called me. You were standing beside me when I received his call."

"Yeah, I know. It's just…"

"C'mon, Tony. You heard Gibbs. We all did. It's not like his voice doesn't carry when he's intent on being heard. Timmy needs us. Now." Abby directed as she muscled past his hesitancy and practically ran to the boss' front door, not even stopping to knock as she opened it, preparing to go in in.

"Abby!" Ziva hissed.

"What?" Abby froze in her steps and looked back at Ziva with confusion. "Gibbs has ALWAYS said his door's always open."

"Yes, but do you not believe this situation calls for a bit of warning?" the Israeli demanded somewhat quietly. I do not believe McGee will appreciate being caught unawares with all he is attempting to deal with."

"Huh?" Abby asked, even more confused now.

"What Ziva is delicately trying to explain, Abigail is that Timothy will most likely not wish to be dropped in on unannounced when dealing with such an emotional situation in his life, such as this tragic loss." Ducky gently admonished.

Abby looked closely at the M.E. who had been almost silent since the unveiling of that very informative piece of paper "Ducky? You've been awfully quiet through all this. Are you okay?"

The kindly M.E. smiled softly as he patted the young woman on the arm and preceded her into the house, "I shall be fine, my dear. Why don't you give me a moment to check on Timothy before you descend upon him, hmm?"

"Okay. " Abby agreed without a fight.

This was taking a toll on all of them and they hadn't even heard what had gotten Tim so upset earlier that it had made him sick. Standing out on the front porch while they waited, the three of them were left with only their imaginations and ideas of what it could have been. None of them wanted to be right.

Surprisingly, the door opened back up just within a short minute, to reveal Gibbs himself standing there, the look on his face grim and pinched. He was definitely not happy. "Go settle in the living room." He requested, taking the bags of take off their hands, one by one as each passed through his door.

"Sure, Boss." Tony offered. "Anything I can do?"

"Not yet, Tony." Came Gibbs' surprisingly yet quiet answer.

Tony nodded and did as the boss had asked, taking himself to the living room and settling down on the couch between the two women. Since the television was already on, they soon found themselves watching the news, the silence in the house, contagious and unhappy.

Barely five minutes passed before Gibbs joined them in the living room, turning the television off and facing them, needing them each to do something. "Tony, find me the exact time the hospital called McGee this afternoon. Abby set up your laptop. We're gonna need it later on. Ziva, McGee wants to talk to you. Dinner's ready as soon as you've done that." Having said what he needed to, Gibbs turned to head back to the kitchen, leaving his team to follow his instructions.

He was brought up short as Tim stepped into his path. "It's okay, Boss. I can do this."

"McGee…"

"I'll be fine."

Gibbs nodded. "Okay. Think you should eat first."

Tim smiled softly. "I'm not hungry. But if they want to eat first, I can wait."

"You need to try to force yourself to eat something." Gibbs insisted.

"Okay." Tim finally agreed and took himself to the kitchen.

"Eat first." Gibbs announced over his shoulder before he too, headed to the kitchen.

*****NCIS*****

A scant thirty minutes later found the group heading into Gibbs' living room after a quiet yet slightly humorous dinner thanks mostly in part to Tony's continued attempts to make his chopsticks do his bidding; mainly because he knew his efforts in that department always brought a smile to his probie's face. It proved to be just what Tim seemed to have needed, as over the course of dinner the pain and sorrow in Tim's eyes had diminished just enough to make room for the humor Tony was trying to infuse into the situation.

Coming up beside the older man, Tim silently smiled at him in thanks for his obvious intentions. Tony nodded back at him and left it at that. After years of working with Gibbs, few if any, words were needed.

Tim found himself unable to bear the thought of sitting still while he updated the team on what had happened earlier in the day. It was only thanks to Gibbs' support during his mini-breakdown earlier that he even had the physical strength or fortitude to even be facing his friends right now, to begin with. Turning to face his friends, he watched as they settled into their seats, except for Gibbs, who remained standing where Tim could lock eyes with him and look to him when he needed to keep going.

"Thanks for coming. And thank you for not being upset that I was hesitant to come to you."

"Gotta say, I was a little put out, Probie. But, I guess, if I were in your shoes, I'da been cautious too. I am sorry, Man. I never want you to have to doubt that I'm here for you." Tony put out there seriously as he joined Tim at the sliding glass doors, clamping a supportive hand down on the younger man's shoulder.

Tim looked at him with just a hint of a smile playing on his face. "Thanks, Tony."

"You know the same goes for me, Timmy." Abby declared a tad bit impatiently. She really didn't understand why Tim would think any different. It was as if the M.E's suggestion regarding this had fallen on deaf ears earlier.

Tim's small smile disappeared and a frowned took its' place rather quickly. "Abby, I'm…"

"McGee, what has happened that caused you to become ill?" Ziva interrupted, while keeping her tone sympathetic. She was intent on the conversation remaining about what Tim was going through and not becoming sidetracked about Abby's feelings at being left out for a short while.

"Ah, yeah. " Tim cleared his throat and looked at Tony. "What time did that call come into my cell phone?" he asked, knowing Tony probably had that information stored in that rolodex of a memory.

"2:15, Probie." Tony answered without hesitation, proving Tim right.

"Okay. Before I explain, I'd like to ask you all a favor, if I can?" Tim surprised them by veering onto a different topic almost mid stride.

"Anything, Probie." Tony promised and the others echoed his sentiment.

"Thanks. All of you." Taking a minute to glance at Ducky and then Gibbs, seemingly for moral support, Tim's eyes returned to rest on Ziva; his original confidant. "I was wondering if you would be willing to help me get through my mother's funeral."

Audible gasps of surprise filled the air.

"When, McGee?" Ziva asked as she came to stand in front of him, one of her hands cupping his face gently. "Are you speaking of this to prepare for ahead of time?"

"No." Tim took her hand in his and shook his head. "She's already gone, Ziva." He told her quietly, his eyes glassy with tears he was refusing to shed. He'd already cried, earlier, on Gibbs' shoulder; and at lunch earlier on hers. It was time to be strong. He had to be.

"I am so sorry." Ziva whispered. "Does this mean you did not need the court to decide for you?" She asked sadly.

"No. I'm not explaining this very well." Tim admitted as his breath hitched, despite his best efforts to keep it under control. "What time again?" He turned and asked Tony.

Tony froze. Tim rarely needed to be told something twice. It was a true testament to just how upset his probie was that he was needing this repeated to him for the second time in less than two minutes. "2:15." Tony told him quietly as he kept a sharp eye on him.

"Thanks." Tim offered as he turned back to face Ziva again. "What I 'm trying to say is that my father…. My mother's gone. The court handed down its' decision and…." Tim couldn't finish. He practically ran to the head, already feeling sick to his stomach again.

The others watched him almost run from the room.

"Is he saying what I think he's sayin', Boss?" Tony asked sadly.

"Yeah. Commander McGee didn't waste any time. As soon as the court handed down its decision this afternoon, he was at the hospital turning off Tim's mother's life support."

"Oh, God, how terrible!" Abby cried, tears sliding down her face.

Tony's face lost all color and it was his turn to feel sick to his stomach as he reached behind him and snapped open the back porch door, stumbling outside and down the steps to the grass, falling to his knees as he found himself breathless and sick at heart as his own words from earlier today came crashing back down on him

_What did somebody die or something?_

Ziva and Gibbs exchanged glances. Both of them were well aware of what guilt was currently tearing Tony apart. It was pointless and definitely not going to help Tim to let Tony continue to be consumed with it. Ziva moved to go after Tony, to console him and try to move him past it, but Gibbs stepped into her path. "I got this. You go talk to McGee." He told her quietly.

Nodding, she turned in the direction Tim had gone while Gibbs followed in Tony's wake, leaving Abby and Ducky alone with their thoughts.

*****NCIS*****

"McGee? Are you alright?" Ziva asked as she gently knocked on the guest bathroom door.

The door quietly opened, revealing a less than healthy looking friend. "I've definitely been better. Can't seem to stop getting sick at the thought of her dying like that." He admitted as a shudder ran through his frame. I think I'm gonna go lay down. I'm feelin' pretty wiped out."

"Can you make it up the stairs?" she worried.

"I'll be fine. But, could you, maybe ask Ducky if he'd come talk to me?"

"Why wouldn't he?" she asked in surprise.

"He's been awfully quiet and hasn't looked at me since he's been here. I've never seen him this quiet, which says to me that he's pretty pissed at me."

"McGee, I believe you are assuming too much."

Tim shook his head. "No. I knew this was gonna happen. I guess, I was just hoping it wouldn't; that he'd understand I was trying to be considerate of his feelings and his own pain with his mom's death just last year, ya know? Thanks, anyway, Ziva. I couldn't have gotten through this without your help."

"Next time, perhaps you will remember that above all else, we are all your friends and want to be there for you when you need us, yes?" She asked with a smile.

"Yeah." Tim answered sheepishly. Kissing her gently on the cheek, he turned and headed up the stairs, suddenly drained beyond his capability of staying on his own two feet. Suddenly, a thought hit him; knowing how badly his father wanted all of this that had come down on them with his mom's accident and her tramautic brain injury and everything that had come with it, to just be overwith, the chances were pretty good that the man had already planned the funeral ahead of time and that it would be taking place very soon. Turing around carefully while holding on to both stair railings to keep from falling over in his exhaustion, Tim was surprised to find Ziva had not moved from the bottom of the stair well as she watched his progress.

"Yes, McGee?" She asked at his silent signals that he had something to say.

"Uhm, nothing. I mean, I just wanted to ask if you could ask Abby to come see me first, please?

"I will send her up to you directly." She promised.

"Thanks." Tim turned back around and headed back up the stairs, leaving a thoughtful Ziva watching his progress until he actually reached the bedroom and went inside, not even bothering to close the door behind him.

*****NCIS*****

Gibbs walked up to his crouched agent and placed a firm hand on his shoulder, waiting for the emotions to stop railroading through him. It wasn't but a half minute later that Tony was able to pull himself together and sit back, practically falling on his rear end in the grass. He made quick work of scooting away from where he'd just gotten sick, coming to a stop when his back hit the high wooden wall of the back deck next to the steps.

Gibbs took a seat on the steps next to his agent and silently waited for his second in command to show signs that he was ready to listen to what the boss needed him to hear.

"God, Boss, why am I always such an ass to him?" Tony asked with a tone of self-loathing.

"DiNozzo." Gibbs replied in the calm tone that said he had something to say and needed to be heard above whatever was running through Tony's head.

"Boss?"

"You really think McGee's even remembering what you said earlier today?"

"He isn't?" Tony asked in shock.

"Nope. Hasn't mentioned it once. Matter of fact, he's never said another word about it since it happened. So, why are you letting it tear you apart like this?"

"I don't know, it just crashed on me like a tidal wave, Boss. I couldn't exactly control it."

"Yeah? Well, it's run its' course now, right?"

"Yeah. Doesn't make me feel any better though."

"Not supposed to. Not the point either. Point is you need to go check on your teammate and make sure he doesn't need his big brother right about now." Gibbs told him calmly as he steadily looked him straight on, daring him to not see what the boss was saying.

Breathing out a huge sigh, Tony nodded. "Right. I'm just gonna go check on Probie, Boss."

With a small, smirk, Gibbs waited a full minute before following Tony back into the house

*****NCIS*****

"Timmy? You wanted to see me?" Abby asked uncertainly, tears still in her eyes for the pain he must be feeling with all that he'd been holding inside and how it had come about.

"Hey, Abby." Tim opened his eyes and looked over at her where she stood in the doorway to the guest bedroom,silhoueted against the soft shadow of the lamp on the night table by the door.

"You're not laying down." She gently admonished as she walked around the bed and sat down by him where he lay stretched out and sitting up with his head against the headboard with two pillows under his head. She took one of his hands in hers as she waited to hear his answer.

"Can't sleep anyway." He admitted, smiling ruefully at her.

"Anything I can do?" She offered sympathetically, absently smoothing her thumb over the back of his hand while she held it.

"Yeah. Actually, there is, that is if you don't mind." He answered honestly. "My father told Gibbs that Sarah would be emailing me with the details of my mom's funeral. Would you be willing…?"

"To go through the emails and get the details together for you? Of course I'll do it, Timmy."

"Thanks, Abbs. I really appreciate it." He replied tiredly, his eyes closing on their own.

"You really should get some sleep." She urged gently

"Without opening his eyes, he answered her, "I will. Just as soon as I…" he stopped talking and Abby found herself unable to resist the urge to smile as she watched him drift into sleep. For several minutes, she sat and watched him as his body began to succombe to more and more of the deeper sleep he needed with each passing minute. Sensing she was no longer alone, Abby glanced toward the bedroom door and realized Ducky had come to check on Tim, complete with medical bag.

Bowing to his medical need to sit with Tim until he was satisfied that their teammate was indeed alright, she got up and slid past him, pausing to kiss him on the cheek before leaving him alone with Tim.

Ducky gently sat his bag on the chair beside the bed and withdrew his stethoscope and blood pressure cuff, all the while battling with himself over the startling conversation he'd just had with Ziva.

"_Ducky," Ziva spoke so softly he almost didn't hear her._

_Dragged back from the depths of where pain filled memories his mother's struggles with Alzhimer's Disease and her subsequent passing some time later, just last year, he blinked and looked at her to see what it was she'd needed to say to him. "Ziva? What can I do for you?"_

"_Ducky are you angry at McGee for not confiding in you?" she asked point blank._

"_Good heavens, No!" The M.E. exclaimed immediately as surprise at such a question radiated in his tone. "Why on earth would I be angry with the poor lad?"_

"_Perhaps because he believed he could not confide in any of us?" She suggested. "His mother's car accident was several months ago and her unresponsive state came about shortly after that. He has kept all of this as well as his struggles to cope with the decisions of his father and sister, hidden from us all this time."_

"_Ziva, I have never believed in forcing my ideas of what should have been done onto others. It is not for us to determine who he should have confided in and when." Ducky advised her gently._

"_McGee believed that confiding in you about his mother would have caused you unnessesary pain due to the loss of your own mother not too terribly long ago." Ziva informed him. "He was unwilling to do that to you." She knew that it was important that Ducky realize exactly why he'd been left out of what Tim had been going through._

"_Oh, dear heavens!" Ducky breathed out sadly._

"_Somethin' wrong, Duck?" Gibbs asked as he joined the M.E, his newest agent and the now silent Senior Field Agent in the living room _

_Ducky glanced at Tony who'd come in so quietly a moment ago that the M.E. hadn't even realized he was there. Glancing back at Gibbs, he proceeded to let them in on the pieces that were beginning to come together in regard to Tim's attempts to get through this personal tragedy alone without their help or knowledge._

_Ziva wasn't finished, but she waited until Ducky had his say before she continued on. "He told me that he has never seen you this quiet and he believes it is due to your anger towards him. McGee also noticed that you have not once looked at him since you have been here tonight and believes that is also a sign of your anger towards him."_

"_Oh, dear!"_

"_He asked me to ask if you would be willing to go talk to him while he rests. He is feeling quite exhausted and indeed was barely able to take himself up the stairs."_

"_Most certainly I will. I wish to check on his vital signs as well, to be sure he is not in need of any further medical treatment with all that this has to be taking out of him." Ducky replied as he stood up and left the room without looking back._

*****NCIS*****

"Wow!" Tony exclaimed quietly. "That explains why he kept it all locked up. Sure hope he doesn't ever think he has to go through anything else alone like this."

"Our job to make sure he knows he doesn't have to, Tony." Gibbs reminded him.

"Oh, don't worry, Boss. I plan on reminding him as often as he needs to hear it."

Ziva chose that moment to take herself outside as the emotions rose up within her to the point they threatened to spill over. Anger was most prevelant of what was going through her at the moment. She was so incredibly angry at the situation Tim had been so ruthlessly thrown into that she began pacing the yard to give her flaring temper the only outlet she had at the moment. If she'd been in her own neighborhood, she would have been out running by now. As her stride lengthened to match the heat of her anger, she covered the yard back and forth at least a dozen times before she began to slow down, finally feeling her emotions receed back behind her wall.

Gibbs glanced out his sliding glass porch doors at his angrily pacing agent with a frown. He knew that she needed this outlet but was concerned she wasn't taking care of herself. He found his mind tossing out the possibility that she was also losing her ability to maintain her normal degree of tough unpenetratable steel that helped her do her job as well as she did.

"Hey." Abby greeted him quietly as she came back into the room and stopped beside him.

Glancing down at her, he noticed she was holding her laptop. Obviously, she'd gone out to the car to get it and was now prepared to do what had been asked of her earlier.

"He's asleep." She offered. "He asked me to get those emails." Abby left it at that, knowing they both knew what she meant.

Gibbs nodded. "Let me know as soon as you have all the details." Glancing back outside, he noticed Ziva had stopped moving and had taken a seat out on the deck. "Tony, go do a perimeter check, will ya?"

"Sure thing, Boss." Tony got up and headed out back, leaving Gibbs and Abby alone in the living room.

Gibbs turned and headed back to the kitchen. He desperately needed more coffee.

*****NCIS*****

Ducky returned from his thoughts as he sat down gingerly on the bed by Tim's middle so he could do his checkup on the sleeping young man. As he pressurized the cuff on Tim's arm, the young man shifted on the bed restlessly, his eyes fluttering before opening blearily for a half-second and then closing again.

"Oh, Timothy, why on earth would you ever think I would be angry with you?" Ducky quietly mused.

"Trust." Tim murmured sleepily.

"Ah, yes, dear boy. You believed that I would feel your silence signified a lack of trust on your part. Rest assured, young man, nothing could be further from the truth."

"Thanks, Ducky." The mumbled appreciation on the threshold of sleep brought a smile to the M.E.'s face.

"Sleep well, dear boy. Let us take care of you now." Ducky got up and put his equipment away, moving the bag to the floor and taking up residence in the chair. He wasn't going anywhere for a while. He found himself relaxing in the silence and the steady breathing of Tim as he slept. Soon, he, too was drifting off.

******NCIS*****

Gibbs glanced at his watch and noted it had been thirty minutes since Ducky had gone up to check on Tim and the M.E. had still not returned as of yet. Putting his coffee cup down, he went upstairs to check and make sure both of his team members were alright. Surprised that the bedroom door was wide open, he couldn't help but smile at the sight of both men sleeping peacefully. Carefully grasping the bedroom door, he pulled it closed to block out most of the household noise. With a small quiet laugh, he turned and headed back downstairs to finish his cup of coffee and find out what Abby had pieced together for Tim's mother's funeral.

Upon reaching the kitchen, he was only slightly surprised to find all three of the rest of his team members waiting for him as they sat around the table, each with their own cup of coffee with a fresh pot brewing behind them on the counter. "Whatcha find, Abbs?" he asked quietly as he took his own seat.

Abby huffed out a breath and divulged the details she'd uncovered. Apparently, Tim had been right to worry that his father had pre-planned everything. Mrs. McGee's funeral was set for tomorrow afternoon.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning dawned bright and sunny, seeming to smile down on all of them with an irony that seemed by unspoken general consensus to be most unappreciated. Tony, Abby and Ziva had gone home around nine the night before to sleep and pack an overnight bag for the trip to New York. When they arrived back at Gibbs' they'd come bearing take out breakfast from McDonald's. Since Ducky always kept an overnight bag ready in his car and had only been disturbed from his rest enough to get him to Gibbs' room where he had been quick to fall asleep; they were on the road with Gibbs driving his car with Ducky riding shotgun and Abby and Tim riding in the back and Ziva behind the wheel of an agency sedan with Tony riding shotgun since he was used to her driving and the long silent Jimmy Palmer rode in the back.

With the two daredevils behind the wheels, the miles were quickly eaten up with few stops and even fewer conversations. Gibbs' car remained quiet as three of the occupants remained focused on either driving or checking periodically on how Tim was doing, even as he rested silently for the entire trip. Ziva's carload remained subdued and non-communicative, as if none of them wanted to talk of anything at all. Each remained buried in their own thoughts of the sorrow Tim must be feeling. All of them were concerned about the upcoming face to face moment between Tim and his dad after the way things had happened between them through the events of his mother's death. Gibbs' warning from earlier while Tim had been in the shower, still rang in their heads.

"_Close enough to prevent any unwanted confrontations, but not close enough to smother him."  
><em>

*****NCIS***  
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Walking into the church after a quick lunch, the team flanked Tim on all sides with Abby holding tight to his hand and walking with him step for step almost as if she was glued to him, earning them a smile from the grieving young man for their over-the-top efforts to shield him from any potential trouble at the hands of his father. It wasn't long before Tim found his voice and he gently called them off before they'd even made it half way up the main aisle of the sanctuary. "At ease, guys. Thank you, but I'll be fine. As long as you're here with me."

No sooner had he said that than his feet stuck to the floor as his eyes found their way to the front of the room, coming to rest on his mother's casket where it rested for the family's final goodbye. Since the team had already stepped back, Gibbs found the room to ease up behind Tim and quietly speak encouragingly in his ear. "Now you can say goodbye."

"It's not the same." Tim quietly answered.

"I know. You gonna let him take this one away from you, too?"

Tim thought for a minute before answering. "Thanks, Boss."

Gibbs stepped back but remained in front of his crew as they walked towards the front, in order to curtail the rest of the team's movements while Tim continued on to his mother's casket. With a pointed look, Gibbs directed them all to take up the front row of seats where they could be there for Tim at any point during the service that he might need them, saving Tim a place between Abby and Ziva, both waiting and willing to be the comforting voice he might need.

Reaching his mother's side, Tim held onto the edge of her casket with one hand while he reached out his other hand to trace the waxen skin on her face. "I'm so glad you're not in pain anymore, Mom. But, you didn't deserve to die that way." He whispered shakily. "I didn't even get to tell you that I love you or to say goodbye. Now this will have to do."

*****NCIS*****

A murmur went up from the people already assembled in the church, as Commander McGee made his way to the front with Sarah tucked almost completely under his arm. Proud and erect, the man oozed confidence and purpose, not a glimpse of grief on him anywhere. His eyes found his son where the young man stood saying his last words to his mother and the Commander's posture stiffened even more.

As Gibbs watched this unfold, he stood and took steps to place himself between Tim and the quickly approaching Commander and his dutiful daughter as inconspicuously as possible. Tony, Ziva, Ducky and even Abby and Jimmy all stood up, more than ready to do the same. With a nod of his head, Gibbs silent told the rest of his team to back down and return to their seats. He could see it in their faces, their reluctance to trust Tim's father or even his sister, not to make this even harder on Tim than it had been. Still they did as he requested and returned to their seats.

Not a man for public confrontations, Commander McGee stopped in front of Gibbs since the man was obviously trying to protect his son from him, the boy's own father. "Agent Gibbs, I presume?"

"Commander."

"Is there a reason you don't want me or my daughter near my son?"

"Just giving him a minute alone with his mother, Comander."

"How is he?" The father asked the Team Leader.

Gibbs cocked his head in disbelief. He couldn't find the words without giving voice to the anger that wasn't appropriate here and now. Silence remained his best option and so he relished it.

Sarah McGee silently stood at her father's side, unwilling to engage Agent Gibbs in any kind of conversation. He didn't belong here. This was her family's personal grief and he was trespassing, although for the life of her, she couldn't figure out why because he didn't seem the type of person to do such a thing. The fact that the man was literally ignoring her where she stood only served to irritate her even more.

*****NCIS*****

Tim wiped the tears from his eyes. "I'm sorry for every moment of hurt or disappointment I ever gave you, Mom. I love you." Breathing out in a ragged sigh, he had one last thing to say. "Goodbye, Mom."

Turning away from his mother's casket, he was brought up short at the sight of his boss holding his father and sister at bay and the rest of his team watching in full readiness, obviously more than willing to jump into whatever fray happened to come from this.. With a mental wave of relief and gratitude, Tim stepped up to the plate, taking steps in their direction to pick up his own weight in this ongoing drama. Before he'd taken all of three steps, the funeral music began to play and Tim's father and sister turned and headed to their own seats, on the other side of the front row, much more centered to the pulpit than where the team had taken up seats.

Turning to check on Tim, Gibbs found the young man almost at his elbow, smiling softly in gratitude. With a silent small nod, they both took their seats so the funeral would move along without any further incidents. Tim smiled as he could feel the team around him actually settle back into their seats, more relaxed now that the moment had passed.

As the music changed over several times and the opening prayers and words from the priest were spoken, the sanctuary remained sadly quiet with the exception of the sound of tears from one or two people there, as the pall of this funeral seemed to saturate them all. Gibbs glanced at his youngest agent from time to time and each time he was proud to find Tim bearing up with no signs of any problems. Staring straight ahead at his mother's casket, Tim's eyes never moved or wavered. When the question was voiced in regard to anyone wanting to speak on behalf of the dearly departed Mrs. McGee, Tim rose to his feet, without a backward glance or even clearing his vision from where ever his thoughts had just taken him.

In all of two strides and before Gibbs could stop him, Tony was at Tim's back ,walking to the steps up to the pulpit with him, fully prepared to prevent any confrontation. Seeing his son approach, as if he had something to say on his mother's behalf, the commander balked, the recent fight over his right to let his wife go, still fresh in his mind. Rising from his seat on the other side of the front row, Commander McGee quickly strode to meet his son before the young man had taken that first step up.

"Heads up, Probie." Tony said just loud enough to catch Tim's attention.

Startled to realize that Tony was with him, he froze and glanced around, now noticing his father's intent to block his path. Straightening his spine, Tim moved to the other side of Tony, away from his father, and went on up the steps, leaving Tony to hold off the irate older McGee, as he knew Tony would do. He couldn't see the look on the older agent's face, but somehow he just knew that Tony was almost grinning in anticipation of a showdown on Tim's behalf.

Not wanting anything to spoil his mother's final moments in everyone's memory, Tim tapped the microphone so that it got everyone's attention. As he stood up there behind the pulpit, deliberately not looking at either his father or his sister, Tim let out the breath he'd been holding, and tried to think of what he'd wanted to say. Suddenly, it was as if all coherent thought had left his head and he'd been left with nothing but empty space between his ears.

"Just say what's on your heart, Probie." Tony's whispered words spoken into his right ear shocked him back to the here and now, as did the sudden but comforting hand on his shoulder. Once again, he found himself smiling over his shoulder in gratitude at his teammate and friend. Now he could get through this. Now, he could make things right between himself and his mom. Gibbs was right, This was his last chance and he couldn't let his father take that from him.

Leaning just a little toward the microphone, Tim spoke, as Tony had suggested, from his heart.

"Thank you all for coming to pay your last respects to my mom. All of us who knew her, know what a great woman, wife, mother and friend she was. But, I know that she was an angel borrowing someone's human body."

Twitters of soft laughter filled the room as Tim had to smile at his own mental imagry of who his mother had been to him.

"I was the happiest kid on the planet since my mom was my best friend. Between the two of us, there was nothing that got us down or stole our happiness with life's new joys she helped me discover along the way. She was the one who taught me to cook simple things with adult supervision, to ride my first bike; my first solo ride without my training wheels; my first 100 feet on roller skates; before I fell on behind and she couldn't stop laughing as she helped me up. My mom made life fun, behaving a blast and misbehaving a learning experience and not a trip to hell."

Tim stopped to take a breath amidst the quiet laughter that once again arose from his cherished memories. Glancing over at his team, he caught Gibbs' eye and smiled back at the boss' look of proud encouragement. Letting his eyes rest on each of his NCIS family members for a glance, he found each of them looking at him with that same encouragement and desire to see him through this and couldn't help but smile back at them before he returned his attention to memoralizing his mother.

"Whenever I look back to those first eight years, or what I can remember of them, I'm always amazed at how one important event in a child's life has the potential to forever change the way that child sees himself in his parents' eyes. Or himself for that matter. Now that I've had some experience with the law enforcement side of talking to families, it's easier to see how sometimes those moments can have lasting effects on that child's life on into their adulthood and beyond. I've seen the end result of normal childhood emotions gone bad because they weren't dealt with or the kids weren't taught how to deal with them or channel them correctly.

"Heh, I apologise, sometimes the writer in me breaks loose and takes over. What I'm trying to say is something as joyous to parents as the pending arrival of a second child, can be devastating to a little boy who's been the only child for eight years and whose' best friend has been his mother. My mother took every mixed up emotion I experienced at her announcement of another child coming into the family and helped me deal with every one of them. Even after my sister arrived and my mother's large stomach was gone; replaced now with a squalling, stinky baby who took up everyone's time and energy, my mother made the time I needed and made sure I still felt loved and important. In short, she made sure I wasn't an unhappy older brother with an axe to grind; ever.

As we got older, my mother taught me the honor of being the responsible older brother and helped me see the value of taking that role as seriously as I possibly could and still have fun. When I left home to go to college at sixteen, Mom remained my firmest supporter; my champion, my best friend.

Even when I got my dream job of working at NCIS, Mom was right there, in my corner, despite the reactions of others in my life who chose to react differently. In short, the only time I have ever regretted having my mom as a parent." Tim stopped, wiped the tears from his eyes and cleared his throat. "Was when I got the call that her life was over because someone else had made that choice for her. I regret being her son because the son she loved and took care of all of his life, wasn't able to protect her when she needed him to the most. For that, I will always be sorry. She was the best. I will miss her greatly. Goodbye Mom."

Tim turned from the podium and was visibly shaking as Tony took him by the arm and helped him back to his seat, keeping himself between his probie and the side of the aisle the man's father was sitting on, currently glowering with unbridled rage.

Thankfully, the service moved forward and soon the moment arrived where the chosen pallbearers stood and approached Mrs. McGee's casket. Tim was among those who rose to take up position, only to be blocked by his father.

"You have no right…"

"I suggest you let him help carry his mother to her final resting place, Commander." Gibbs quiet yet completely threatening tone reached the older McGee who stood down and turned to take his own postion at the head of his wife's casket.

Smiling in silent gratitude, yet too shaken by the lengths his father was trying to go, to have anymore strength to stand up to him, Tim stood still for a moment.

"Go on." Gibbs bid him quietly as he turned to return to his seat.

Moving up to his mother's casket, he respectfully and quietly spoke to his mother's brother who stood there and without any commotion whatsoever, Tim now stood, poised to take up his mother's casket, opposite from his father, just as he should have been able to do.

*****NCIS*****

The graveside service went without a hitch or even the hint of a confrontation as Mrs. McGee 's casket was once again carried to her final resting place. The priest moved the service along, glancing from Commander McGee in his full dress blues and his daughter, dressed in grieving black, complete with the sheer veil commonly worn at close family member's funerals; to the son, dressed in a three piece suite and tie and surrounded by his work family supporting him through this difficult time.

As the service drew to a close and the mourners all began drifting away, to make their way to their cars and return to the McGee house for the gathering that always takes place after the graveside service, Tim remained frozen in place at his mother's grave, although his father had already turned to leave. Even Sarah had already taken steps towards the car, until her father stopped and turned to speak to her brother.

"Why?" The commander demanded to know.

Tim blinked and looked over at his father as the man approached him at his mother's grave. Unwilling to desecrate his mother's burial, he moved away, opposite from where his father was approaching him, not stopping until he'd cleared at least a hundred yards in distance.

"Damn it, Timothy! I demand an answer!" Commander McGee roared as he closed the remaining distance between them, his hand curled into a fist, ready to launch at the merest hint of lost control on his rising temper.

Tim looked at his father and took in the man's rage and sense of humiliation that he saw in his eyes, but he couldn't fathom where it was coming from. He couldn't even recollect what he'd said at his mother's funeral a short while ago that might have set this man off like this. Not prepared to take any physical beating but equally not prepared to a showdown with his father, Tim looked at the man and asked him a question as calmly as he could.

"Can we do this later? Please?" Turning, he walked towards Gibbs' car, now silently supported by Abby and Ziva, who'd wasted no time in coming to stand beside Tim, with a glowering Tony glaring back at the older man, daring him to draw Tim into a confrontation their teammate clearly didn't want.

Huffing out an angry breath of air, the Commander growled, 'good riddance" and turned back toward his wife's grave, only to find himself drawn up short by two men standing in his path.

Before he could angrily object, the older of the two blocking his path spoke to his daughter who had just rejoined him at his side. "Sarah, might I have a word with you, please?"

Biting her lip in apprehension, Sarah McGee glanced at Ducky. What could NCIS' M.E. possibly want with her? Still the man, according to her brother, was a peaceful man who always had great advice to give or a story to tell and always, always, had a pot of tea to share. With a small half-smile, she answered him. Sure, Dr. Mallard."

As Ducky led Sarah away, Gibbs remained standing in place, glaring at the senior McGee.

"Something on your mind, Agent Gibbs?" he demanded.

Gibbs finally spoke, keeping his voice deadly calm, yet eerily menacing. "Until you can treat my agent with the respect he deserves, I suggest you stay away from him."

"Can't stop me from seeing my boy, Agent Gibbs."

"No, you're right, I can't. I won't have to. He's pretty good at speaking up for himself. The warning still stands."

"Yeah? That why that boy of yours who's always treated my boy like his whipping post is suddenly his leaning post? I'm not seeing that boy of mine standing up for himself very much at all today. Who the hell do you think you are, anyway? Talkin' to me like this!" Commander McGee sneered.

"Who I am, Commander, is a Marine who happens to be the Team Leader that your son has happily worked for for the past 7 years. We look after our own; always have each other's back. And right now, having his back includes keeping him from having to deal with the likes of you while he gets through his mother's funeral."

"From the likes of me? What the hell is that supposed to mean? You talk like my own son needs protection from me?"

"You enjoy kickin' people outta your way, Commander? That how you get through the ranks in your outfit?"

Commander McGee sputtered in rage. "How dare you, Agent Gibbs! Just who the hell do you think you're talkin' to?"

"I thought I was talking to a caring father whos' adult children are grieving the loss of their mother from a most unusual situation. Guess, I was wrong about that. One thing I am certain of, Commander? You have a son that any father would be proud to call their own. But, you're too busy condemning him for living his life by his own rules to appreciate him for who he is. When you're ready to get to know your son, give me a call. I'll show you what he's accomplished since he's been on my team. Let you see just who your son really is." Gibbs turned and walked away.

****NCIS*****

Ducky gently led Sarah away from everyone else, wanting her to have a moment's peace to clear her mind. Silently, he just strolled with her, not in a hurry to break into her thoughts or stir up any emotions that might need the chance to settle back down for her after the events of the sorrow filled day.

When her father's raised voice was heard across the open space, Sarah glanced up, pulled from her thoughts as she was.

"It's alright, my dear. Everything will be fine. I can promise you, there will be no bloodshed." the M.E. soothed her with a pat on her arm.

"Okay." she gave in nervously as she let him continue to lead them in their ongoing stroll.

Now that the silence had been broken, Ducky broached the subject he'd wanted to discuss with her, being careful to approach it cautiously. "Tell me, my dear. What did you think of your brother's words at your mother's funeral?"

"I was shocked." Sarah admitted sadly. "I mean, I knew Tim and Mom were close. But, I had no idea he thought the world of her to that extent or exactly why. I just knew he always treated her like she was the queen of the house. "

"It certainly lends a measure of understanding as to why it is he has taken her death and the manner in which it came about, so hard, does it not?" Ducky gently pushed.

Sarah nodded without hesitation even if it did take her a minute to verbalize her agreement. "Yeah. Yeah, it does."

"Might I suggest trying something, my dear?"

"Okay."

"Try giving yourself some breathing room from your father's grief and his way of dealing with this tragedy so that you may work your own way through your own and perhaps leave yourself whatever room you need to turn to your big brother for comfort through this that has affected him just as greatly as it has affected yourself. Perhaps, along the way, you will find that compassion you seem to have lost for your brother's feelings in the matter, hmm? Who knows, maybe by some chance, the two of you will be able to mend this rift, possibly even become closer through it all?"

"Wow." Sarah laughed humorously. "Talk about great expectations."

"No, my dear. Not expectations; merely hope for the future of two incredibly warm people who deserve to have their family reunited through this tragedy, not forever torn apart."

Sarah was humbled. Rendered speechless, she stopped strolling and stared over the M.E.'s shoulder, sightlessly ahead. Blinking, she noticed her brother where he sat in the car up ahead, his head lain back against the seat, Abby and Ziva plastered into place on either side of him, as if just waiting for the chance to strike out at someone on his behalf.

"Why are they acting like he's their best friend when his journals read like they barely tolerate him?" She asked in sincere confusion. "Everything he's ever written in there is about how much Tony torments him and mistreats him with superglue and being just plain cruel at times; finding it funny to hurt him or watch him be hurt."

"I'll have to admit, my dear, that your brother's teammates do tend to act as though they are part of one big family, in which Timothy's role happens to be the youngest sibling, execessively teased and picked on – on a regular basis; but also much loved and protected when push comes to shove."

Sarah nodded in understanding. That was how things had been between herself and Tim as they were growing up. She could definitely relate to that. Still part of what she was seeing didn't make sense; almost seemed phoney. "And Abby? What is she the girlfriend who dumped him but then can't treat him badly enough until he's having a really bad day and then, poof! She's his best friend?" Sarahs' skepticism was obvious and understandable, considering the newly admitted fact that she'd read Tim's innermost thoughts written down in his journals.

"I'm afraid, theirs is a relationship that only your brother could explain, although I do understand your reaction as it does come across as quite complicated, even to myself."

"Talkin' about Abby and McGee, again, Duck?" Gibbs smirked as he walked up behind the M.E. and his agent's little sister.

"Ah, Jethro. Yes, as a matter of fact, we were discussing why it appears your team is more closely knit than the way young Sarah here, has read about them in Timothy's journals."

"Mmm. So I heard. Do me a favor and don't repeat that back to McGee."

"Most certainly not." Ducky defended himself. He wouldn't do such an unnessarily hurtful thing.

"Give us a minute?" Gibbs asked.

"Certainly. It's been a pleasure my dear. I do hope to see you again soon and I offer you my deepest condolences on the loss of your mother."

"Thank you, Doctor Mallard." Sarah offered as the M.E. turned and headed toward the car. Turning her attention to her brother's boss, she found she couldn't look at him. He made her mad earlier and just now he'd provoked her father into serious anger, as his seriously loud tone had proven.

Knowing the Commander was waiting on his daughter's return to their car, Gibbs gestured for Sarah to start walking in that direction, a few parking spaces away from the team. "Wanted to ask you not to mention to your brother that you invaded his privacy, however many times you've done it. I think it's important that you get your father to agree not to mention it, too."

"Agent Gibbs. I don't understand what the has to do with you. I don't even know why you're here! Why were you at my mother's funeral? And why were you provoking my father at his wife's funeral?" Sarah demanded as she suddenly stopped to rage at him.

"Your brother needed me here." Gibbs told her. "He's had enough people in his life leave him high and dry when he needed their help. Wasn't about to let it happen again."

"Seems a bit high and mighty considering how you let the rest of your team treat him." Sarah huffed petulantly.

"Always something to work on making better, Sarah. Doesn't mean any of us kick him when he's down."

"Yeah? That why Tony and Abby did what they did when that dog attacked him that time? That why Tony lured him into an online relationship by posing to be a woman just to sit back a laugh as he got his hopes up and almost poured his heart into it? That why Abby treated him like she did when they went to Mexico?"

"Water under the bridge, Sarah."

"Easy out. Doesn't change the way they treated him."

"No. It doesn't. But, your brother's never been one to hold grudges."

"Doesn't make any of it right, Agent Gibbs! Why do I get the feeling that you're the reason Tim never stands up for himself about anything? No wonder he has to get it off his chest through his journals! You're more like Dad than your realize! Tim could never go to him for help with anything either! You know what? Fine! You want me to keep my reading his journals a secret from him, fine, I will. Unless he asks me directly. I won't lie to his face. For anyone!" Sarah stalked off muttering "Can't believe Tim keeps workin' for that cold, unfair…" Her words faded as her lengthening stride quickly ate up the distance between Gibbs and her father's car.

Standing still, rooted in shock from the razor sharp words she'd thrown at him in the heat of the moment; Gibbs watched as Sarah cast a forlorn look in her brother's direction, an angry one back at him and then got in the car. Staring straight ahead, she buckled up as her father put the car into gear and drove them away from the curb and on out of sight.

"Jethro?" Ducky's gentle questioning tone, broke the spell and propelled him into motion. Walking back to the car in silence, Gibbs heart pained at the knife his agent's sister had just thrust into it with her painful conclusions. After hearing what that man had had to say when he'd called the squad room just yesterday and watching him come close to assaulting his son today, Gibbs knew that being compared to Commander McGee was not something he could feel good about. _Was that how Tim saw him?_

Reaching the car, Gibbs blinked and glanced at his team before getting in Looking back at his youngest agent, he was relieved to find him dozing with Abby and Ziva on either side of him. Silently he got in and headed out. of the cemetary. With Tony behind the wheel of the second car and a silent Jimmy riding shotgun, they made a beeline for the nearest hotel.

After booking three rooms for the night and with a bit of a struggle, they managed to rouse Tim enough to get him into the room he'd be sharing with Tony and Jimmy, where he immediately crashed on the bed closest to the window away from the door.

With his NCIS family's help, he'd gotten through the toughest day of his life. For the first time in a month, Tim slept peacefully through the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Tim seemed to be the first one up the next morning, showering and dressing before anyone else was up. He'd slipped out to get coffee for everyone by the time Gibbs had even woken up and dragged himself out of bed. There was no rush to get going, he just hated sleeping in hotels and found it more relaxing to go out and find somewhere he could sit and enjoy his first cup of morning coffee before getting going.

After hitting the shower and getting ready for the day, Gibbs' bag was packed and hitched over his shoulder as he headed out, leaving Ducky still sleeping, and stowed his back out in the car. Spying the small town coffee shop on the corner, he decided that was where he'd eat breakfast, letting the rest of the team sleep in after the hectic and stressful day they'd had yesterday. It didn't take long for him to reach the diner and it took him even less time than that to realize he wasn't the first member of the NCIS crew to be up and in need of coffee this morning. But the bigger revelation was that this team member wasn't alone and Gibbs felt a flare of anger at the sight of those military dress blues and that now all to familiar face. Damn it! He'd told him to leave Tim alone!

Even before he reached the table where they were sitting, McGee Senior's raised voice reached the Team Leader's ears and only served to raise his anger up a couple of notches.

"You had no right to disrespect the family the way you did yesterday! Your mother would be ashamed of you! Guess that boss of yours didn't give you the message I left for you the other day, after all! Just get over yourself already, will you, Boy? "

Gibbs quickly glanced at his agent, only to find him steadfastly keeping his eyes on his coffee as he stirred it with his spoon repeatedly without any sign of stopping. With a quirk of his eyebrows and a smirk on his face, Gibbs walked over to where he knew he'd catch Tim's eye before the older McGee would even realize he was there. Sadly enough, it would seem, Tim's father wasn't done raking him over the coals and he wasn't trying to tone it down either.

"That boss of yours had some nerve, telling me to stay away from you! Who the hell does he think he is?"

"Commander! Let me buy you a cup of coffee." Gibbs suggested in his tone that lets one know it's not quite a suggestion after all, as he walked up on their conversation, his eyes deliberately remaining on McGee Senior.

Commander McGee quickly became irate at the intrusion in the form of the very person who'd warned to leave his own boy alone not even 24 hours ago. Not being an idiot, he didn't miss the underlying meaning in the invitiation the head NCIS Agent had just given him. He was wise enough to cooperate in light of this new development. Still, he couldn't resist getting in one last thought for his son to worry about. "You and I are not done talking about this!"

Without another word, the two older men walked away, stopping at the counter to order and wait for their coffee. Tim watched warily as his father kept his backbone stiff as if he still had an axe to grind. He hoped this wouldn't end badly. He trusted Gibbs not to let that happen, but he also knew no one could control his father. Tim breathed a sigh of relief when the two of them got their coffees and took it outside.

****NCIS*****

Without wasting any time, once they'd gotten outside, Gibbs went for the jugular. "You not hear me yesterday, Commander?"

"My ears work just fine, Agent Gibbs. But, I won't be kept from talking to my boy."

"Got no problem with that – so long as you treat him right."

"I treat him just fine!"

"Wasn't talking about your standards of right and wrong."

The older man's face became beet red as his anger shot through the roof. "Why is it you've appointed yourself judge and jury when it comes to me and my son?"

"Never known a Commander to need anything of importance repeated a second time." Gibbs responded with dry mockery.

Having nothing more to say, the older McGee turned away, intent on leaving before the situation spiraled out of control. He'd taken all of three steps when he was called back.

"Commander McGee."

Turning around to see what his son's boss wanted from him now, he was shocked to see that Tim's boss was now calm, as if nothing had just happened between them. "Agent Gibbs?"

"I'm sorry for your loss."

The soft-spoken sympathy threw the hardened man for a loop and all he could do was nod in acceptance and turn and walk away.

*****NCIS*****

Back inside the diner, Tim got the waitress' attention and special ordered a tall mug of the strongest coffee they had, in anticipation of his boss' return. After dealing with Tim's father, the poor guy was gonna need the calming effect that all that caffeine usually gave him. No longer hungry, he absently moved his fork around his hashbrowns as he waited for the shoe to drop. He was sure his father had said something completely out of line.

"Here ya go, Sweetie." The waitress set the coffee mug down and refilled Tim's own cup while she was there.

"Thank you." Tim offered quietly, still partially withdrawn into his worried thoughts.

"You're quite welcome. His food will be ready in just a minute." She smiled.

Tim smiled back at her. "Guess you saw that comin'."

"Oh, sure."

"Actually, could you do up five to go, too? The rest of our team's still sleeping in, but I don't want them to have to wait too long for breakfast."

"I sure can, Sweetie-pie. Don't you worry about a thing."

"Thanks. Uhm. I guess I'd better a…."

"A coffee with each meal, coming up." She smirked as she turned and headed back to the kitchen.

"That for me?" Gibbs asked in surprise as he slid into the seat across from his agent.

"Thought you'd be ready for a cup." Tim explained calmly.

Gibbs nodded his thanks and savored the hot brew which turned out to be just as strong as he liked, surprisingly enough. "You drinkin' yours this strong now?" he asked Tim in surprise.

"Nah." Tim smirked. "Special ordered yours."

Gibbs grinned. "Thanks."

Tim nodded and looked to see if the waitress was coming with Gibbs' breakfast and was happy to note that she was nearly at their table with it now.

"Here ya go, handsome. " She cooed as she set the boss' breakfast in front of him with a huge smile.

Gibbs had to smirk. "Ordered breakfast for me, too?"

"Oh, no, handsome! I took the liberty of having it made for you. I just knew you'd be hungry when you came back from setting that ogre in his place." She remarked before turning away. "Enjoy your breakfast."

Tim shook his head in partial amusement mixed with partial shame. He knew he wasn't responsible for his father's actions or words, but he still felt immensely ashamed that the man had so little decorum. All he could think of right now was the intense need to apologise that he hadn't handled his father better; gotten him to tone it down or better, shut the conversation down to begin with. It had escalated into a public display and Tim was mortified.

After several silent moments in which Gibbs was able to enjoy his food, his eyes glanced at Tim, taking in the look of embarrassment written across his face. Setting his fork down, he picked up his coffee mug and took a refreshing sip, keeping the mug betwen them as he finally spoke.

"What's on your mind, McGee?"

"Besides beginning to really hate my last name, you mean?" Tim unexpectedly muttered. "Sorry. Boss. I didn't mean to say that outloud. Guess I just need to apologise for…"

"If you even think of apologizing for your father's actions, I'm gonna head slap you so hard, you'll be back in D.C. before the rest of us get there." Gibbs practically growled at him.

Tim shook his head. "No, Boss. I can't hold myself responsible for what he does or says, unless I provoke it. I'm pretty sure I didn't do that. No, I should have shut his ranting down before it got as out of hand as it did."

"Hmm. Still not your fault." Gibbs answered back. "You gonna eat or do I have to get that waitress over here to feed ya?"

Tim smiled. "Thanks." Slowly he began to eat, still not really hungry, but smart enough to know when the boss would pursue the point until he was satisfied that the matter had been taken care of.

The rest of the meal was enjoyed in companionable silence and almost in silent agreement, the got up and headed out when it was finished. Gibbs was surprised, though, when Tim made a beeline for the counter and took a large take out bag from the waitress after putting his credit card away. When she set down two trays of hot coffees, Gibbs made himself useful and picked them up, one in each hand, and led the way out. As they walked back to the hotel, Gibbs waited silently for Tim to explain.

"Breakfast for the rest of them. That way we can get back on the road quicker."

"Good thinkin', Tim." Gibbs praised.

Tim smiled. _Wow, he hadn't heard that from the boss in a long time._

The boss watched his agent's face light up at such a simple compliment. It hit him like a sledgehammer, that maybe, just maybe, Sarah McGee had been right. Definitely time to change things up a bit.

Tim watched out of the corner of his eye, as the boss seemed to become more and more withdrawn. _Man, he looked exhausted. He probably didn't sleep too well in a strange place._ Suddenly, it hit him. He knew what he could do that might help. "Boss, I was wondering if maybe you'd let me drive in your place on the trip home when we head out? You need the chance to relax."

Gibbs was floored. Here this kid was fresh from his mother's funeral and he was already thinking of everyone else's wellbeing except his own. Even his attempt to apologise earlier was due to how he perceived he'd made others uncomfortable by not stopping his father's behavior. Then again, Tim rarely got the chance to drive the team anywhere. It would be good for him and for them.

"Thanks, McGee. I'll take you up on that."

Tim nodded in relieved acceptance of Gibbs' answer and he couldn't help the grin that split his face almost a full two minutes later.

"Something funny?" Gibbs asked dryly.

"Just picturing Tony's face when the time comes that we let Jimmy drive one of the cars home. I think I'd pay good money to see that."

Gibbs laughed. "Yeah, that would be something. Not a bad idea, now that you mention it."

Tim chuckled as they reached his, Tony's and Jimmy's hotel room and went inside.

*****NCIS***  
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An hour later and everyone had risen, showered, packed up and eaten breakfast. Now they headed out to the cars for the ride home. Almost lethargic from the lazy morning of sleeping in and room service, none of them seemed to notice the silent changing of drivers as Gibbs slipped the keys to the agency sedan to Jimmy and pointed him in to the driver's seat, leaving no room for any misunderstanding, while handing Tim the keys to the sedan he'd driven.

It seemed downright comical to watch Tony, Ziva and Abby all continue to follow in Tony's footsteps as their brains all seemed to come back online at nearly the same time, humorous looks of surprise written on all their faces when they realized they would be passengers with the most unlikely of candidates actually doing the driving.

The ride back to D.C. was accomplished at a much more sedate pace than the ride up to New York had been. But, somehow, even Tony couldn't bring himself to complain or voice any irritation about it. At the same time, there wasn't much said to break through the quiet in either vehicle. Everyone seemed to remain caught up in the somber spirit of the event they'd just witnessed.

Back in D.C. several hours later, the team unloaded from the agency vehicles and stood, wondering what the next step would be. None of them were ready to let Tim go home alone. The general silent consensus seemed to be that he needed his friends just as much to get through the still of the night, as he'd needed them to get through the painful hours of today.

"So, sleep over at your house tonight, Boss?" Tony quipped with his trademark smirk.

Gibbs looked at his team, saw their exhaustion and their determination to not let this go. He didn't blame them. He wasn't in any hurry to send Tim home alone tonight either. Smirking, he surprised them. "Sure. You're bringing the food, right DiNozzo?"

"Uh, yeah, I can do that!" Tony grinned. "Coming, Probie?" Tony invited .

Tim had to smile. "Sure. See you guys in a little while. And thank you. For everything."


	8. Chapter 8

_One Month Later_

The last four weeks had passed without anything out of the ordinary happening for any of the team. Work returned and the normal chaos that was the fabric that kept them knitted together as a bonded family, slowly became even more appreciated than it had been before. The pranks and jokes continued on, but there was a new kinship within the atmosphere in the squad room.

While this kinship soon became increasingly obvious, so did the fact that Tim had, even while obviously relying on his teammates reaffirmed committment to his wellbeing, had lost the ability to find joy in life. He was relishing the pranks and attention from his coworkers, but little else. Any effort on Tony's part to harass him about his computer game playing or his writing seemed to fall flat as if Tim had lost all interest in all of his usual pursuits.

Watching from afar, Gibbs and Ducky could only monitor the team without interfering because since they were all in good health and performing their jobs well, there was no need for any kind of intervention. Gibbs, however, wasn't happy about what Tim's mother's death had done to the poor guy. He knew that Commander McGee's attitude had a lot to do with the 'new' Tim McGee as well and it left the Team Leader wanting to 'teach' the undeserving father a lesson or two.

After several talks with Ducky on the matter, Gibbs had come to realize there was little he could do except remind Tim once in a while that he wasn't alone and that the boss was there for him if and when he needed to talk. In the last four weeks, the Team Leader had managed to remind his agent of that fact at least once a week, receiving small smiles of appreciation along with verbal thanks each time. Tim had yet to take him up on that offer but Gibbs felt that knowing it was there had to count for something.

Tony, for all his jokes and pranks, didn't like this new Probie either and had, on numerous occasions attempted to coax him out after work for some 'guy time'. As he did with Gibbs, Tim would thank the Senior Field Agent kindly but refuse to commit. Since DiNozzo's don't give up, Tony had even sought Abby and Ziva's advice on what to do for their teammate a mere week after they'd come back to work. Between the three of them, all they could come up with in the two weeks after the funeral was keeping an eye on him and at least one of them dropping by on Tim unannounced at some point, even if it was just for a few minutes, every night of the week to make sure he was eating right and taking care of himself.

Unfortunately, after the first week of this watchdog brigade, Tim had kindly but firmly requested that they stop putting their lives on hold for him. He assured them that he was fine and that they needed to get back to living their lives for themselves and not spending their free time babysitting him. They had agreed to back off somewhat, but had refused to completely do away with watching over him, still determined to take Tim under their wings of safety and help him through. He was, they'd reminded him firmly, part of their family and too important a cog in their wheel to leave unattended during his 're-couperation period' as they'd called it.

Oddly enough, that week of extra attentiveness from the team seemed to have helped Tim regain some of his old zest for life, even if it was just a little. He began to smile at Tony's pranks and jokes more often and even began joining in on their banter like he used to. The laughter always stopped short of reaching his eyes though and if the team noticed the missing spark then they never mentioned it.

Bonding time spent outside work, however, was not something Tim would allow himself to join in on just yet. Tony had verbally speculated to Abby and Ziva on at least one occasion, that Tim's depression was probably the young man's father's doing. Ziva, however, knew better.

Unbeknown to Tim, Ziva had run into Sarah a couple of nights before this at the coffee shop near the Navy Yard and they'd spent time talking over a hot drink. Now, hearing Tony still express concerns about the probably cause of Tim's depression, she decided it was time to attack the other issues involved head on. She proceeded to fill the others in on what was necessary to fix the problem…or at least, as far as she could tell.

For the next three weeks, anytime Tony, Ziva and Abby got together after work, Sarah was enticed into joining them and from that time on, Tim's little sister slowly but surely softened up to the friendship her brother's teammates were offering her. With the recent loss of her mother and the unpleasant rift between her father and brother, the understanding and compassion, along with the meek honesty they bestowed on her during the course of their frank discussions jelled their friendship and made it stronger.

While they didn't hide it from Tim, it never came up, either. Apparently, even with the new formed friendships of her brother's teammates, Sarah was still not ready to repair the relationship with her brother. It would take time. But, she had been honest with them and promised all of them that she would talk to Tim very soon because she needed her family back together and she knew her father and brother would feel the same way.

The fourth Monday since the funeral moved at a snail's pace and with no new cases, the tedium of cold cases started to wear them all thin and even Tony's pranks were grating on their last nerve' especially the boss'.

"DiNozzo! You and Da'vid, lunch run, now!"

As his scurrying agents boarded the elevator and disappeared from view, Gibbs tossed down his pen and glanced over at his long troubled youngest agent. Not much had changed in the last four weeks and precious little had been said about how things were going for the young man. With a pang to his conscience, the Team Leader mentally acknowledged to himself that he should have been making more of an effort. Realizing that he had a perfectly good opportunity to make an extra effort now, Gibbs stood up, coffee cup in hand and approached Tim's desk. Just as he was about to perch on the edge, his agent's phone rang. Tim hurried to catch his ringing desk phone, snapping the speakerphone button in his haste to not lose the call.

"Agent McGee."

"_Timothy."_

"Dad?" Tim snapped the phone off speaker and slid the receiver up under his ear, angling his head to keep it in place as he tried to get back to work on the current computer search while he listened. Gibbs stood up and placed his hand briefly on Tim's shoulder before going back to his own desk and sitting down. He kept his ear firmly trained on the quiet phone conversation going on opposite him while pretending to read his email; he didn't want Tim slipping backwards after all.

"_Understand from your sister that you still won't speak to her. I haven't heard from you either."_

"Nothing to talk about," Tim supplied without backing down, frowning as he noticed in his peripheral vision, that the boss was sitting quietly looking at something on his screen he'd returned to his work.

"_Time to get over yourself, boy. Think about your sister for a change. This hasn't been easy for her. For me either, come to think about it. Don't make it harder, Son."_

"I find that hard to believe. Seemed almost effortless from where I was standing." Tim shot back heatedly while trying to keep his voice down. "Look, can we just not do this? I'm at work. Now is NOT a good time."

"_Always boils down to what works for you, doesn't it Timothy? Some things never change."_

"You called me in the middle of a work day and that makes it my fault?" Tim asked incredulously.

"_I called you when I knew where you'd be to answer the damn phone. You know what? I'm coming down there. We're gonna talk. Just you and me."_

"Like I said, Dad. There's nothin' to talk about."

"_Damn it, Boy! Get your head outta your own ass long enough to think about someone else for a change, will ya?"_

"I'm hanging up now, Dad." Tim warned just before he dropped the phone receiver back down on the cradle and breathed out a sigh. _Damn it, would his father never just give it up and leave him alone? Why did he always have to stir stuff up?_

"Hey."

The boss' quiet voice startled him slightly because it came from directly in front of him. _When did he come back over? _Tim thought as he was brought back out of his angry musings. He blinked and looked at the man to see what he wanted from him.

"C'mon. Coffee break. I'm buyin'." Gibbs said firmly and waited for Tim to respond. He almost laughed at the shock on Tim's face but thought better of it; a wise move if the soft, small smile that was briefly given, was to go by.

Without a word, Tim rose from his chair and followed Gibbs out of the building. They hadn't gone more than 200 yards down the street towards the coffee shop before Gibbs finally said what was on his mind.

"Been awfully quiet lately, Tim, before that call just now. Still bothered by what happened with your mother?"

Tim let out a deep breath, blinking his eyes at the sudden moisture that momentarily blurred his vision. "Yeah." He admitted quietly, grateful for this opportunity to talk to Gibbs. "It bothers me every day. I just can't stop feeling like this because everyone wants me to move on."

"I take it things are still not good between you and your father. Wanna tell me about it?" Gibbs probed quietly, his compassion now unmistakable.

"I can't stop feeling angry about the way he let go of her so fast. He doesn't even care that he didn't even give us a chance to…" Tim sighed heavily and wiped at his eyes. "To say goodbye. It kinda takes the joy out of living right now."

"Tim. It's hard to let go and I know that it's easy to stay angry at him because he had to be the one to make that decision. By law, it had to be his."

Tim nodded. He understood it, he knew it and he knew that there was nothing he could have done but it didn't stop him hating it. He hated that no one else had wanted to keep her once chance of living a go. "I know. It doesn't make it easier to let go of though. Guess that makes me pretty petty, huh."

_**THWACK***_

Tim rubbed the back of his now stinging head while Gibbs let his hand fall back to his side without even missing a stride as they continued walking toward the coffee shop. No words were spoken by either, since neither felt any were needed.

After a few more minutes of walking spent in silence, Tim had to say something because he'd finally figured out why he'd been on the receiving end of that head slap and genuinely felt grateful for it. "Thanks, Boss."

"." Gibbs hummed knowingly. There was no way he was letting his boy fall into the self blame or loathing that would drag him down further.

Again, silence settled between them, but this time, Tim actually felt better, lighter in spirit at least, just enough that he found room to be thankful for the man walking beside him and the effort he was making to help Tim move past this personal tragedy and how it was affecting him. With the knowledge that Gibbs, too, had gone through this and lived through it, even though the older man's loss had been so much more painful, only to come out on the other side of the all consuming darkness still functioning as a helpful human being the world was much better off having in it, helped Tim found the inner strength to shed the burden almost completely.

If Gibbs could move on after the personal tragedies he'd been through in his life then so could Tim. It didn't erase the pain or the sorrow that came with his mom's death, but it did lighten his heart and raise the curtains off his mental tunnel vision full of anger; giving him his ability to see the good in the world around him again and even genuinely smile.

Sure, he still had a few painful hurdles to get over, but in the bigger scheme of things, there was too much going for him to let this drag him down any longer. His mother wouldn't want him to live like that. If he would stop and think about it for a minute, he'd have to admit that Mom would have kicked his butt weeks ago. _Never thought of Gibbs as a parent. Kinda feels nice._

Smiling, Tim laughed inwardly at his own private joke and hurried to keep up with the now smiling boss who was obviously tuned in to Tim's change in attitude. With no further discussion needed, they returned to the squad room to await the return of the lunch pickup. Tim felt his stomach grumble and realized that having a new outlook on life, brought out the appetite. His father's threat of coming to town to talk to him, slipped into the back corner of his mind, soon forgotten in the shiny outlook of a brand new day.

*****NCIS******

After a rousing time of friends and fun after work at their local hang out the previous night; thanks in part to Tim's renewed positive outlook on life, the team still managed to make it into work on time the next morning, even if it was to see even more drudge work awaiting their arrival. As the morning wore on, boredom was beginning to set in and lunchtime couldn't arrive fast enough to suite the more restless at heart. Somehow, Tony managed to maintain a tight lid on his desire to prank and remained working his way through the case on his desk almost as if he knew his good behavior would be rewarded soon enough.

Sure enough, in reward for their impressive showing of self-control amidst boredom, Gibbs let the three of them go out for lunch together, giving them a generous hour and a half for lunch if they took Abby and Jimmy with them. They weren't going to look a gift horse in the mouth and disappeared from the squad room before Gibbs could second guess his decision. Their enthusiasm brought a smile to the boss' face and he sat back watching them leave like excited children actually happy to spend time together outside work just like a family should.

The phone on Gibbs' desk shrilled into the near silent room.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

"_Calling in your offer, Agent Gibbs."_

"Which offer would that be, Commander?" Gibbs said nonchalantly and took off his reading glasses.

"_I'm ready to hear what you think it is you have to tell me about my son."_

"Not so sure about that, Commander. Didn't sound like it when you called Tim yesterday."

"_He told you about that?"_

"Didn't have to. My desk is ten feet from his." He glanced over at the desk and smiled. _Oh yeah, I know exactly what goes on with my team._

"_Right, Tim always did say you knew everything. Anyway, I'm coming to see him because I want him to talk to me, man to man. Thought I'd see what you had to say first."_

"You wanna talk to him? Good. Be here in one hour." Gibbs directed as he ended the call and grabbed up his coffee cup before heading out of the squad room.

*****NCIS*****

Two hours later found Gibbs and a much more understanding Commander McGee actually keeping each other company as they awaited the return of Team Gibbs from an even longer lunch than they'd originally been given, compliments of a phone call from Tony to the boss some thirty minutes ago explaining the extenuating circumstances they'd come across and the need for more time.

Gibbs had actually been happy to grant them the lunch hour extension since it meant that this entire personal drama for his youngest agent would be that much closer to being resolved; enough so that the young man could move forward with his life without it weighing him down any longer.

Hearing the **ding** of the elevator, Gibbs looked expectantly towards it and found himself rewarded with the sight of not only his team of people, but also Sarah McGee, hooked arm in arm with her big brother, smiles plastered on both of their faces as they walked around the divider that separated Ziva's desk from the walkway and on into their part of the squad room.

The entire crew of them stopped in mid-stride at the sight of Commander McGee sitting in Tim's desk chair, Ziva and Tony automatically stepping up as potential human shields for their friend.

Tim's spine stiffened in reflex at the sight of his father while his mind struggled to catch up with what his eyes were seeing. Obviously Gibbs and his father had talked. Otherwise, the two would NOT be sitting here so calmly around each other. _Not sure if I'm ready to talk to Dad about anything after that unpleasant call from him yesterday. _

"Nice to see you here, Dad." Sarah broke into the uncomfortable silence that had fallen upon the small group.

Hello, Baby." Commander McGee greeted his little girl and got up out of Tim's chair to kiss her on the cheek. "How you doin'?"

The softness and non-typical sympathetic tone from the hardened Navy man, shocked both Tony and Ziva and even though the surprise was evident, they stayed silent. Even Abby seemed surprised. Tim, on the other hand, seemed to ignore it as he kept his eyes fixed on his sister's face, obviously more worried about how she was handling this behavior from their father. He was confident that trouble was brewing and he would need to fix it before he could get back to work. Thankfully, he had something to occupy his hands and his mind as he handed out the lunch orders without saying a word.

Watching his son finish handing out the lunch orders, Commander McGee crossed glances with Gibbs long enough to silently communicate that he realized he had his work cut out for him in making things right with Tim and he wanted his son for the afternoon in which to work on it. While that had already been established before the team came back; it was something he just had to see through before any more time was wasted with his children at odds with each other and with him.

Gibbs had shown him the truth to that and he wanted to make amends now while he had the chance. It had been a great relief to him that the hardened Team Leader had been compassionate enough to agree to let Tim off for the afternoon, citing the belief that mending broken fences within families was important enough to warrant the free pass.

The older McGee was more than ready to have a heart to heart with his son. He had a lot of bridge building to do and he hoped that Tim's well-known penchant for forgiveness would somehow be extended to him at least in some small enough measure that they could begin to heal the longstanding rift and maybe even re-knit the family's bond and become almost whole again. The Commander was thrilled to his soul to see that his son had managed to mend the broken relationship with his sister. It gave him hope for his own challenge where Tim was concerned.

It was tragic that it had taken Mrs. McGee's death to bring this realization about and Commander McGee hoped and prayed that this sad fact would not be the stumbling block in getting Tim to forgive him. He could only hope that the softened look in his son's eyes right now, meant that Tim would accept what his father had to say. Only time would tell.

Time and a heartfelt apology. Commander McGee had plenty of both.

.

*****FINIS*** **


End file.
